1. |
10,000 Cigarettes
04:38
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|
||
Got in my time machine, and I departed
That's right, I got a time machine, it fits inside of my apartment
It only works for me and goes as far as 20 years back
Only into the past, I don't remember when I started
My TV and remote are its controls, and there is
A dirty purple couch that serves as its command chair, and
All these old Hi-8 tapes I pump into its fuel lines
I watch them chain-smoking as I travel through time
While I was playing hero, in 1999
The angel sent for me was swallowed up by time
Ten thousand cigarettes, I dedicate your name
But the future refused to change
And so I set a course for 1996 again
And visit my old bands, my college roommates and friends
This time around though I know where all these bros will go
So young and hungry then, that was like a thousand shows ago
And next I check in with an ex in '98
Try not to think of how it ends as I rewind the tape
In Y2K I find the day I fly away, I try to say
Just wait, it's a mistake, but I can't, this isn't my today
On to the dark of time - no future and no past
Hold on to memories I know that cannot last
Time scars and falling stars commemorate our reign
But the future refused to change
In 2004 a brand new city puts excitement on my face
That guy doesn’t know the toll upon his soul that it will take
In '06 I listen to the vows I know I'll never keep
In '08 I'm blowing up though I've nearly reached my peak
In '10, '11, '12 I laugh with pals that will be gone
In '13 can't un-start the final fight had with my mom
I travel back a year and find there's nothing there to miss
Because by then I'd traded making memories for doing this
And nothing's been prevented
Each visit's more unpleasant
“Great scott!” exclaims the doc as I explain I guess I get it
I live in that past because I'm dead in this present
Surrounded by the ghosts of my regrets but otherwise alone
Echoes of a life inside of boxes that I call a home
Every time I exit the machine, it's all the same
Just an overflowing ashtray, a future which remains
Alone I sat and thought of worlds that could have been
She turns to tell me we were only kids back then
Time stop and paradox; I’ll never be the same
But the future refused to change
Ten thousand cigarettes
|
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2. |
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I invented Jesus, and I put him into my head
Because I don’t understand how we don’t exist
When we’re dead
He shows me angels and ghosts
He loves my mumbo-jumbo words
Jesus killing science, screaming
“Death to the herds”
Praise the lordy lord
My child, I'm the son of God
His only begotten son, impossibly unflawed
For the Father so loved the Earth
That he delivered it a savior via virgin birth
That whoever shall believeth in him shall not perish
Upon them bestowed a gift eternally cherished
Spreadeth mine word so men may hear it again
In the name of the father, son and holy spirt, amen
So, if we’re good, we’ll go on high
That’s why Jesus is my guy
Take this flesh, this blood of mine
Eat of this bread, drink of this wine
I’ll pack a suitcase, when I die
Climb on Jesus’s skyride
I bought in to Jesus
Now, I don’t have to be scared
‘Cause when I die and go to heaven,
fucker, you won’t be there
He’s so forgiving and kind.
Thou shalt not suffer a fool
Even when I fuck up,
Jesus tells me it’s cool
Praise the lordy lord
Like I taught the lot of my flock
In that sermon that I served them from the top of that rock
You gotta beware of prophets who are false in their speech
For their clothing of sheep belies the wolves that hide underneath
But remembereth that judgment is for God and God alone
And let he who is without sin be first to toss a stone
The Kingdom of Heaven awaits ascending of men
I am the Alpha and Omega, the beginning and end
Be still and quiet.
Shut out the light.
Jesus comes for us, tonight
I am the door, I am the lord and the light
I am the way, I am the truth and the life
We’ll live forever--fucking tight
Jesus loves it when I’m right
Let us pray
Amen. It’s Emperor Jesus.
New clothes. Your faith he excretes it
Who knows? He just might be inside me
Let the choir sing
Head bowed. All-one in his presence
Mind clouded up by his essence
True bros can’t help but believe it
I got the Jesus.
Flames on my breeches.
Better believe he reprieves all the Sneetches
And, no, it isn’t a sin
Jesus says “one man shall only love another if it’s him”
I guess he’s jealous and stuff
I guess I’m kind-of the same
All I need is Jesus when he squeezes my brain
Praise the lordy lord
For you I died high on that cross
The lesson was self-sacrifice, that message was lost
You gotta sell your possessions, gotta give to the poor
And for the sick and the hungry, you gotta open your doors
For all of God's children are your sisters and brothers
As I have loved you, you must love one another
Eternal paradise awaits not the pious of men
When your personal lord and savior rises again
He’s in a spaceship of the mind
Jesus 2099
Take this flesh, this blood of mine
Eat of this bread, drink of this wine
And we’ve transcended human kind
Me and Jesus, we’ve got mine
Peace be with you
|
||||
3. |
To the Ground
03:25
|
|
||
I could die here
There is one thing stopping me from dying here
Blows rain on me
I’m the fun-man army in this run-course, none-horse town
But it’s calling from the grandstands
It’s falling from the sky
And I’m crying from the black diamonds of make-up
‘round my eyes
I snap into a suplex
My head is upside-down
And I send them to the ground
There’s a place where you can
drown your madness and your misery
The beer is cold, and the violence golden
The first round’s free
In here, they call me “Vegas”
or “Valentine Burlesque,”
Or “Bloody Mr. Big Top,”
on account of how I dress:
a polka-dotted jumpsuit;
a grease-painted frown
And I send them to the ground
Let’s get you venomous, baby
I’m a generous man
Whoa, and
No glory, no fame for the working man
No fireworks, no pomp and circumstance
No interviews, no merch, no wealth
Always the turnbuckle, never the gold belt
Guys like me always get clobbered by the bigwigs
Guys like me they call us jobbers in the business
Book the gig, take the fall, sell it, make the rent
No one puts us over, no we’ve never made a main event
I’ve taken them all, kid, submissions and pins
In a career record rocking more concussions than wins
I’ve caught the stars falling, watched the Harts get broken
Seen them screwed like Bret, or get dropped like Owen
But I keep going though it’s all been hell on my health
I’d rather fade away than burn out, I keep telling myself
I once worked hoping for a spot at the top
But now it’s just cause it’s all that I’ve got
And when you’re feeling troubled
And when you realize
The future is a brick wall
with landmines on both sides
Step into my circle
Listen to my crowd
And send them to the ground
It’s calling from the grandstands
It’s falling from the sky
And I’m crying from the black diamonds of make-up
‘round my eyes
I snap into a suplex
My head is upside-down
And I send them to the ground
And send them to the ground
And send them to the ground
And send them to the ground
|
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4. |
The Other Devil
04:24
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|
||
What's wrong? - why the long
Face on? - come along
The rain is gone, we got a song
Hey, c'mon and sing along
Problems – you've got them
Throbbing in your noggin
Gotta walk them off or talk about them
Or hit rock bottom
You've a quandry – sticky thistle
Big dilemma – in a pickle
Take a walk – start to pace
Between a rock and hard place
On a wire – snafu
Quagmire – catch 22
Sick and tired – feeling blue
It's dire – what you gonna go?
Behind your blinds – peeking out
Hide inside – freaking out
Sweating bullets – stressing hard
Flip a coin – pick a card
Roll the dice – draw straws
Shake the 8 – Ball and pause
Don't you go – and hurt yourself
Take a breath – we're here to help
You could use some good advice
We'll talk you through and do it twice
Just because we're mighty nice
There's two of us for twice the price
We'll offer you a payment plan
First I gotta shake your hand
For truly I'm a faithful fan
And you are Popeye the sailor man
I'm the devil on your shoulder
He's an evil-doer's soldier
Like I told you
I'm the other devil on your other shoulder
Enabler – facilitator
Big mistake maker
I'm the devil - I’m the other devil
On your shoulder - on your other shoulder
I'm the devil on your shoulder
An evil-doer's soldier
Like I told you
I'm the other devil on your other shoulder
Enabler – facilitator
Big mistake maker
I'm the devil - I'm the devil
On your shoulder - on your shoulder
Hold up, did you get ejected from the Navy, son?
Fuck it, come with me and drown your sorrows in some Jameson
Wait a minute, booze ain't gonna help you chase the pain away
Stay away from him, have a seat, try this cabernet
Fuck that, let's get high on hard drugs, what's your type?
I've always wondered what you're smoking in your yellow pipe
Just say no to drugs, have a hug, come with me a sec
Stop - take a breath – great, now take a percocet
Sailing on the open sea, let's stage a mutiny
Cast your shipmates overboard, your only crew is you and me
I disagree, we should flee tonight while the crew’s asleep
Free the lifeboats as we let them drift out to see
On shore leave, surely you needn't give Olive a call
Find a port, get some hookers, line them up, and bang them all
But Olive is your only woman, don't you dare betray her
Talk a walk to a dock and fuck a bunch of sailors
Oh, that wimpy as fuck punk I see around
Has abused your kindness too long, it's time you beat him down
That would hardly be a fair fight, wouldn't you say?
Don't you beat him up today, you should do it Tuesday.
Now listen, it sickens me to see you eat that spinach
Hey, I've got some greasy cheesy fries for you to finish
Those won't make you strong, fatty foods you should avoid
Have some leafy greens, and you can chase them with these steroids
I'm the devil on your shoulder
He's an evil-doer's soldier
Like I told you
I'm the other devil on your other shoulder
Enabler – facilitator
Big mistake maker
I'm the devil - I’m the other devil
On your shoulder - on your other shoulder
I'm the devil on your shoulder
An evil-doer's soldier
Like I told you
I'm the other devil on your other shoulder
Enabler – facilitator
Big mistake maker
I'm the devil - I'm the devil
On your shoulder - on your shoulder
Now you know that your woe’s a true foe named Bluto
Should you go and kill him, you’d be better off, and you know
Oh no, don’t go and murder him, that’s no
Punishment, torture would be so much more apropos
But he’s moving in on Olive, and I think she kinda likes it
Nip it in the bud, spill their blood, don’t try to fight it
You think she’d learn a lesson? Shit, well, hell if I know
Instead go fuck her sister, send her pictures from your iPhone
Sweet Pea’s crying, I can see it’s got you bothered
Shut him up, rub-a-dub, in a tub of water
Popeye, stop, my god, he’s just a child
Float him down the river like they did in the bible
God is of no relevance, you’re on another level
The answers that you seek are found in worshipping the devil
Well, that devil won’t level with you, salvation
Can only be obtained by proclaiming “Hail Satan!”
Now you’re smiling – styling
While you’re – profiling
You’re flying – high and
The sun on you is shining
Your step springs – heart sings
Bells ring – everything
Is looking up – take a cup
The world’s your oyster – fill it up
So glad that I could help you out
So glad that I could ease your doubt
Well, I suggested better plans
But he took my advice, my man
Well, I’m the one that told him to
But I’m the one he listened to
Well, who are you? Who are you?
Who are you?! That’s your cue
I'm the devil on your shoulder
He's an evil-doer's soldier
Like I told you
I'm the other devil on your other shoulder
An enabler – facilitator
Big mistake maker
I'm the devil - I’m the other devil
On your shoulder - on your other shoulder
I'm the devil on your shoulder
We’re an evil-doer's soldier
Like I told you
I'm the other devil on your other shoulder
An enabler – facilitator
Big mistake maker
I'm the devil - I'm the devil
On your shoulder - on your shoulder
|
||||
5. |
Radio Kill Switch
04:41
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||
Coming in like a number station
Clustered ones and fives
Electronic voices in the night
Radio Kill Switch
Radio Kill Switch
With tonight’s top ten regrets
Radio Kill Switch
Radio Kill Switch
For the lovers who wish that they’d never met
Radio Kill Switch
Is alive throughout the midnight sky it flies
‘Til the morning light
It was you, it was me
On a luxury cruise, we were out to sea
We were about to be turning around headed back to land
When a perfect storm formed, and the trip was damned
And the power went out, and the ship capsized
And the flare guns fired into pitch black skies
And the hull was breached, we were taking on water
Saw a father, he was calling for his daughter, but he lost her
Didn’t bother helping other than my brother, that was you
Got us both into a lifeboat, we were the only two
Into the maw of the sea we did fall with a splash
And we saw those who screamed as they clawed and they scratched
And then all that we had was a bag and inside
Just an AM/FM radio, we tried, all we’d find
Through the crackle and the static and the dead night hiss
Was a faint dance station playing a bedtime mix
And the music barely coming through it went like this…
Radio Kill Switch
Radio Kill Switch
Is your local Number One
Radio Kill Switch
Radio Kill Switch
Expect delays on vindication
Radio Kill Switch
Is alive throughout the midnight sky it flies
‘Til the morning light
Terrified floating through that moonless night
Barely speaking to each other till the dawn’s first light
In the waves of the storm, we were way off course
No sign of the wreckage, not a board or a corpse
And of course we were fortunate, we made it out alive
More than scores of the souls aboard didn’t survive
But our luck was a thing that was difficult to see
In miles all directions only open sea
But we told ourselves eventually if patient we’d be saved
A comfort we invested in uneasy as the waves
No food, just time, and a lot of it to think
Water, water everywhere but not a drop to drink
As day turned to night back to day and on and on
It was all we could do just to try to stay calm
Occasionally static and occasionally music
Trying not to panic, we were both about to lose it
But we knew it, we knew that we could do it
We knew that if we kept our cool that we’d maneuver through it
Soaked to the bones in the sea spray mist
We started passing time coming up with lists
All of our victories, dreams we’d abandoned
Things that we did do, things that we hadn’t
Spoke of our regrets and to one another’s weakness
Fessed up to all our crimes, shared all our secrets
If we could’ve would’ve taken back all that we did
But especially getting on that goddamn ship
Should’ve driven back home, should’ve flown to Madrid
Should’ve given this raft to that dad and his kid
And we cursed at a world we knew soon we would leave
And we prayed to a god in which neither believed
For a moment we thought that the reaper just might miss
When the radio crackled again at sunlight’s kiss
But the only signal in it sounded just like this…
Radio Kill Switch
Radio Kill Switch
Is the last thing that you hear
Radio Kill Switch
Radio Kill Switch
Commercial-free, uninterrupted fear
Radio Kill Switch
Is alive throughout the midnight sky it flies
‘Til the morning light
I don’t know how long had passed
When the fever set in and the madness clasped
At the final and fragile frayed ends of our minds
And I snapped like a broken rubber band as I cried
“I wanna kill you! I wanna eat you! I wanna save you!
I wanna fuck you, love you, I wanna take you
Down to the bottom of the water, both gurgling
Far below the vultures and the dorsal fins circling!”
We saw as your throat found the grip of my fists
Off on the horizon the light of a ship
And we heard for the first in that silent abyss
The air from our leaking vessel’s telltale hiss
We paddled to the light, but the pressure of the motion
Deflated our boat, and we slipped into the ocean
We swam with the last energy saved up
And we struggled going under as the sea waves struck
And this is what we heard when we gave up...
Radio Kill Switch
Is the best thing that I’ve got
Radio Kill Switch
Radio Kill Switch
Like your heartbeat,
this transmission will drop
Radio Kill Switch
Is alive throughout the midnight sky it flies
‘Til the morning light
|
||||
6. |
Surrender
04:22
|
|
||
Lyrics by Rick Nielsen (1978)
|
||||
7. |
'Jesus (Genesis Remix)
03:34
|
|
||
I invented Jesus, and I put him into my head
Because I don’t understand how we don’t exist
When we’re dead
He shows me angels and ghosts
He loves my mumbo-jumbo words
Jesus killing science, screaming
“Death to the nerds”
Praise the lordy lord
My child, I'm the son of God
His only begotten son, impossibly unflawed
For the Father so loved the Earth
That he delivered it a savior via virgin birth
That whoever shall believeth in him shall not perish
Upon them bestowed a gift eternally cherished
Spreadeth mine word so men may hear it again
In the name of the father, son and holy spirt, amen
So, if we’re good, we’ll go on high
That’s why Jesus is my guy
Take this flesh, this blood of mine
Eat of this bread, drink of this wine
I’ll pack a suitcase, when I die
Climb on Jesus’s skyride
I bought in to Jesus
Now, I don’t have to be scared
‘Cause when I die and go to heaven,
fucker, you won’t be there
He’s so forgiving and kind.
Thou shalt not suffer a fool
Even when I fuck up,
Jesus tells me it’s cool
Praise the lordy lord
Like I taught the lot of my flock
In that sermon that I served them from the top of that rock
You gotta beware of prophets who are false in their speech
For their clothing of sheep belies the wolves that hide underneath
But remembereth that judgment is for God and God alone
And let he who is without sin be first to toss a stone
The Kingdom of Heaven awaits ascending of men
I am the Alpha and Omega, the beginning and end
Be still and quiet.
Shut out the light.
Jesus comes for us, tonight
I am the door, I am the lord and the light
I am the way, I am the truth and the life
We’ll live forever--fucking tight
Jesus loves it when I’m right
Let us pray
Amen. It’s Emperor Jesus.
New clothes. Your faith he excretes it
Who knows? He just might be inside me
Let the choir sing
Head bowed. All-one in his presence
Mind clouded up by his essence
True bros can’t help but believe it
I got the Jesus.
Flames on my breeches.
Better believe he reprieves all the Sneetches
And, no, it isn’t a sin
Jesus says “one man shall only love another if it’s him”
I guess he’s jealous and stuff
I guess I’m kind-of the same
All I need is Jesus when he squeezes my brain
Praise the lordy lord
For you I died high on that cross
The lesson was self-sacrifice, that message was lost
You gotta sell your possessions, gotta give to the poor
And for the sick and the hungry, you gotta open your doors
For all of God's children are your sisters and brothers
As I have loved you, you must love one another
Eternal paradise awaits not the pious of men
When your personal lord and savior rises again
He’s in a spaceship of the mind
Jesus 2099
Take this flesh, this blood of mine
Eat of this bread, drink of this wine
And we’ve transcended human kind
Me and Jesus, we’ve got mine
Peace be with you
|
||||
8. |
|
|||
Coming in like a number station
Clustered ones and fives
Electronic voices in the night
Radio Kill Switch
Radio Kill Switch
With tonight’s top ten regrets
Radio Kill Switch
Radio Kill Switch
For the lovers who wish that they’d never met
Radio Kill Switch
Is alive throughout the midnight sky it flies
‘Til the morning light
It was you, it was me
On a luxury cruise, we were out to sea
We were about to be turning around headed back to land
When a perfect storm formed, and the trip was damned
And the power went out, and the ship capsized
And the flare guns fired into pitch black skies
And the hull was breached, we were taking on water
Saw a father, he was calling for his daughter, but he lost her
Didn’t bother helping other than my brother, that was you
Got us both into a lifeboat, we were the only two
Into the maw of the sea we did fall with a splash
And we saw those who screamed as they clawed and they scratched
And then all that we had was a bag and inside
Just an AM/FM radio, we tried, all we’d find
Through the crackle and the static and the dead night hiss
Was a faint dance station playing a bedtime mix
And the music barely coming through it went like this…
Radio Kill Switch
Radio Kill Switch
Is your local Number One
Radio Kill Switch
Radio Kill Switch
Expect delays on vindication
Radio Kill Switch
Is alive throughout the midnight sky it flies
‘Til the morning light
Terrified floating through that moonless night
Barely speaking to each other till the dawn’s first light
In the waves of the storm, we were way off course
No sign of the wreckage, not a board or a corpse
And of course we were fortunate, we made it out alive
More than scores of the souls aboard didn’t survive
But our luck was a thing that was difficult to see
In miles all directions only open sea
But we told ourselves eventually if patient we’d be saved
A comfort we invested in uneasy as the waves
No food, just time, and a lot of it to think
Water, water everywhere but not a drop to drink
As day turned to night back to day and on and on
It was all we could do just to try to stay calm
Occasionally static and occasionally music
Trying not to panic, we were both about to lose it
But we knew it, we knew that we could do it
We knew that if we kept our cool that we’d maneuver through it
Soaked to the bones in the sea spray mist
We started passing time coming up with lists
All of our victories, dreams we’d abandoned
Things that we did do, things that we hadn’t
Spoke of our regrets and to one another’s weakness
Fessed up to all our crimes, shared all our secrets
If we could’ve would’ve taken back all that we did
But especially getting on that goddamn ship
Should’ve driven back home, should’ve flown to Madrid
Should’ve given this raft to that dad and his kid
And we cursed at a world we knew soon we would leave
And we prayed to a god in which neither believed
For a moment we thought that the reaper just might miss
When the radio crackled again at sunlight’s kiss
But the only signal in it sounded just like this…
Radio Kill Switch
Radio Kill Switch
Is the last thing that you hear
Radio Kill Switch
Radio Kill Switch
Commercial-free, uninterrupted fear
Radio Kill Switch
Is alive throughout the midnight sky it flies
‘Til the morning light
I don’t know how long had passed
When the fever set in and the madness clasped
At the final and fragile frayed ends of our minds
And I snapped like a broken rubber band as I cried
“I wanna kill you! I wanna eat you! I wanna save you!
I wanna fuck you, love you, I wanna take you
Down to the bottom of the water, both gurgling
Far below the vultures and the dorsal fins circling!”
We saw as your throat found the grip of my fists
Off on the horizon the light of a ship
And we heard for the first in that silent abyss
The air from our leaking vessel’s telltale hiss
We paddled to the light, but the pressure of the motion
Deflated our boat, and we slipped into the ocean
We swam with the last energy saved up
And we struggled going under as the sea waves struck
And this is what we heard when we gave up...
Radio Kill Switch
Is the best thing that I’ve got
Radio Kill Switch
Radio Kill Switch
Like your heartbeat,
this transmission will drop
Radio Kill Switch
Is alive throughout the midnight sky it flies
‘Til the morning light
|
Schaffer the Darklord
Schaffer the Darklord (or STD) is a New York City-based rapper and comedian with material best-suited for brainy and/or drug- addled audiences. With manic energy, verbose vocabulary and cartoonishly commanding stage presence, STD skewers such topics as hedonistic substance abuse, sexual compulsion, urban anxiety and obsessive cat-enthusiasts. ... more
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