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lyrics

I could die here
There is one thing stopping me from dying here
Blows rain on me
I’m the fun-man army in this run-course, none-horse town

But it’s calling from the grandstands
It’s falling from the sky
And I’m crying from the black diamonds of make-up
‘round my eyes

I snap into a suplex
My head is upside-down

And I send them to the ground

There’s a place where you can
drown your madness and your misery
The beer is cold, and the violence golden
The first round’s free

In here, they call me “Vegas”
or “Valentine Burlesque,”
Or “Bloody Mr. Big Top,”
on account of how I dress:
a polka-dotted jumpsuit;
a grease-painted frown

And I send them to the ground

Let’s get you venomous, baby
I’m a generous man

Whoa, and

No glory, no fame for the working man
No fireworks, no pomp and circumstance
No interviews, no merch, no wealth
Always the turnbuckle, never the gold belt

Guys like me always get clobbered by the bigwigs
Guys like me they call us jobbers in the business
Book the gig, take the fall, sell it, make the rent
No one puts us over, no we’ve never made a main event

I’ve taken them all, kid, submissions and pins
In a career record rocking more concussions than wins
I’ve caught the stars falling, watched the Harts get broken
Seen them screwed like Bret, or get dropped like Owen

But I keep going though it’s all been hell on my health
I’d rather fade away than burn out, I keep telling myself
I once worked hoping for a spot at the top
But now it’s just cause it’s all that I’ve got

And when you’re feeling troubled
And when you realize
The future is a brick wall
with landmines on both sides

Step into my circle
Listen to my crowd

And send them to the ground

It’s calling from the grandstands
It’s falling from the sky
And I’m crying from the black diamonds of make-up
‘round my eyes

I snap into a suplex
My head is upside-down

And I send them to the ground
And send them to the ground
And send them to the ground
And send them to the ground

credits

from Hold Person, released November 13, 2017
Guitar, drum programming and bass by Ty Guenley
Lyrics, vocals and NES programming by Shael Riley
Lyrics and vocals by Schaffer the Darklord
Engineered, mixed and mastered by Ty Guenley

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Schaffer the Darklord

Schaffer the Darklord (or STD) is a New York City-based rapper and comedian with material best-suited for brainy and/or drug- addled audiences. With manic energy, verbose vocabulary and cartoonishly commanding stage presence, STD skewers such topics as hedonistic substance abuse, sexual compulsion, urban anxiety and obsessive cat-enthusiasts. ... more

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