What's wrong? - why the long
Face on? - come along
The rain is gone, we got a song
Hey, c'mon and sing along

Problems – you've got them
Throbbing in your noggin
Gotta walk them off or talk about them
Or hit rock bottom

You've a quandry – sticky thistle
Big dilemma – in a pickle
Take a walk – start to pace
Between a rock and hard place

On a wire – snafu
Quagmire – catch 22
Sick and tired – feeling blue
It's dire – what you gonna go?

Behind your blinds – peeking out
Hide inside – freaking out
Sweating bullets – stressing hard
Flip a coin – pick a card

Roll the dice – draw straws
Shake the 8 – Ball and pause
Don't you go – and hurt yourself
Take a breath – we're here to help

You could use some good advice
We'll talk you through and do it twice
Just because we're mighty nice
There's two of us for twice the price

We'll offer you a payment plan
First I gotta shake your hand
For truly I'm a faithful fan
And you are Popeye the sailor man

I'm the devil on your shoulder
He's an evil-doer's soldier
Like I told you
I'm the other devil on your other shoulder

Enabler – facilitator
Big mistake maker
I'm the devil - I’m the other devil
On your shoulder - on your other shoulder

I'm the devil on your shoulder
An evil-doer's soldier
Like I told you
I'm the other devil on your other shoulder

Enabler – facilitator
Big mistake maker
I'm the devil - I'm the devil
On your shoulder - on your shoulder

Hold up, did you get ejected from the Navy, son?
Fuck it, come with me and drown your sorrows in some Jameson
Wait a minute, booze ain't gonna help you chase the pain away
Stay away from him, have a seat, try this cabernet

Fuck that, let's get high on hard drugs, what's your type?
I've always wondered what you're smoking in your yellow pipe
Just say no to drugs, have a hug, come with me a sec
Stop - take a breath – great, now take a percocet

Sailing on the open sea, let's stage a mutiny
Cast your shipmates overboard, your only crew is you and me
I disagree, we should flee tonight while the crew’s asleep
Free the lifeboats as we let them drift out to see

On shore leave, surely you needn't give Olive a call
Find a port, get some hookers, line them up, and bang them all
But Olive is your only woman, don't you dare betray her
Talk a walk to a dock and fuck a bunch of sailors

Oh, that wimpy as fuck punk I see around
Has abused your kindness too long, it's time you beat him down
That would hardly be a fair fight, wouldn't you say?
Don't you beat him up today, you should do it Tuesday.

Now listen, it sickens me to see you eat that spinach
Hey, I've got some greasy cheesy fries for you to finish
Those won't make you strong, fatty foods you should avoid
Have some leafy greens, and you can chase them with these steroids

I'm the devil on your shoulder
He's an evil-doer's soldier
Like I told you
I'm the other devil on your other shoulder

Enabler – facilitator
Big mistake maker
I'm the devil - I’m the other devil
On your shoulder - on your other shoulder

I'm the devil on your shoulder
An evil-doer's soldier
Like I told you
I'm the other devil on your other shoulder

Enabler – facilitator
Big mistake maker
I'm the devil - I'm the devil
On your shoulder - on your shoulder

Now you know that your woe’s a true foe named Bluto
Should you go and kill him, you’d be better off, and you know
Oh no, don’t go and murder him, that’s no
Punishment, torture would be so much more apropos

But he’s moving in on Olive, and I think she kinda likes it
Nip it in the bud, spill their blood, don’t try to fight it
You think she’d learn a lesson? Shit, well, hell if I know
Instead go fuck her sister, send her pictures from your iPhone

Sweet Pea’s crying, I can see it’s got you bothered
Shut him up, rub-a-dub, in a tub of water
Popeye, stop, my god, he’s just a child
Float him down the river like they did in the bible

God is of no relevance, you’re on another level
The answers that you seek are found in worshipping the devil
Well, that devil won’t level with you, salvation
Can only be obtained by proclaiming “Hail Satan!”

Now you’re smiling – styling
While you’re – profiling
You’re flying – high and
The sun on you is shining

Your step springs – heart sings
Bells ring – everything
Is looking up – take a cup
The world’s your oyster – fill it up

So glad that I could help you out
So glad that I could ease your doubt
Well, I suggested better plans
But he took my advice, my man

Well, I’m the one that told him to
But I’m the one he listened to
Well, who are you? Who are you?
Who are you?! That’s your cue

I'm the devil on your shoulder
He's an evil-doer's soldier
Like I told you
I'm the other devil on your other shoulder

An enabler – facilitator
Big mistake maker
I'm the devil - I’m the other devil
On your shoulder - on your other shoulder

I'm the devil on your shoulder
We’re an evil-doer's soldier
Like I told you
I'm the other devil on your other shoulder

An enabler – facilitator
Big mistake maker
I'm the devil - I'm the devil
On your shoulder - on your shoulder