1. |
The Friendalorians
02:57
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SCHAFFER:
I was orphaned by droid forces, formed in the Clone Wars
Adopted by warriors and trained behind closed doors
Of fortified coverts where the armor is forged
Where sad songs are sung of the Siege of Mandalore
LARS:
Baby Yoda Baby Yoda I be trending what I mean
Is it’s hard to not see me in every 2020 meme
I’m 50 years old I must drink a lot of water
IG-11 tried to take me out but he got slaughtered
SCHAFFER:
So I learned how to hunt and found a touch for the biz
Out looking for bounties, don’t matter much what it is
Cuz I got nothing to prove, even less to lose
Save for a mask made of steel which I never remove
LARS:
And I can use the force of course when battling a Mudhorn
The Sorgan kids love me, but I’m paranoid like Osbourne
Will the Mando leave me here, with these girls and boys?
What does this ball do, Mando?
SCHAFFER:
This ship is not a toy!
CHORUS:
A powerful orphan, a soldier of fortune
Running from the law and an assortment of horsemen
On an adventure, whistling birds of a feather
Two Friendalorians, we’re in this together
I’m just doing a job, while I’m unscrewing knobs
Connected by fate, tracked by dozens of fobs
We keep riding till the end of our story, and
We were destined to be the very best of Friendalorians
SCHAFFER:
See I tried to keep it quiet, I tried to avoid violence
When the target for a mysterious ex-Imperial client
Turned out to be a child, as alone as I once was
Kept the cash and the kid and now we’re out on the run
LARS:
Remember on Nevarro, how Kuiil sacrificed his life
Iced by the Stormtroopers, concise and precise
Mando never trusted droids - he should see a shrink
‘Cause IG saved my life, and I missed you just like blink (182)
SCHAFFER:
Desperados of the Outer Rim with a price on our heads
We’ll keep hiding, and they’ll keep setting sights till we’re dead
I will honor the creed, the oath I swore to this day
To protect him as though he were mine, this is the way
LARS:
And it fits so neatly, everything is peachy
Look!! I just realized I can do neck squeezies
SCHAFFER:
Stop! She’s a friend!! You’ll kill her!
LARS:
A Jedi and a Bounty Hunter, sounds a bit familiar
(CHORUS)
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2. |
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INTRO:
Mad men, are we really bad men?
LARS:
Ladies and gentlemen, we’d like to tell you a very sad story about capitalism in America in the 1960s
The name’s Don Draper this is my story
The pain and the dreams and the ads and the glory
The captain of my ship, Sterling Cooper Draper Price
The hours are insane but the benefits are nice
It’s NYC in '63
Willy Loman – hey that’s me
I live two lives as you can see
Even lied to my family
Drinking whiskey till I pass out on my black couch
My secretary wakes me up and I’m out
I slept with one and I’ll sleep with another
Korean War vet with a prostitute mother
There's Joan and Peter, Peggy, Roger
Everyone is a problem solver
Good men? Bad men? You decide
We’re lost in America trying to get by
CHORUS: (x2)
Mad Men, are we really bad men?
I don’t really know
But I think it’s kind of sad when
People say we're
Mad Men, are we really bad men?
I don’t really know
But I think it’s kind of sad when
People call us
SCHÄFFER:
I'm Roger Sterling, man about town
Booze, sex, lies, two ex-wives down
I never was faithful, I never was home
Maybe that's now why I'm all alone (come on!)
Look at me now, I'm not doing so well
Things fall apart, and the partners can tell
Despised by my daughter, denied to be a father
To Red's lovechild, I only want her when I've lost her
Lucky Strike's leaving, our best client
Begged to stay, they were non-compliant
I was quiet, I couldn't hide it
The others called me out, and I straight up denied it
Heart attack in my office
My lifestyle hits me in the face
The firm gets sold kind of like my soul
So old, I'm gonna die in this place
We sell desire, we sell amenities
We drive consumption, we brand identities
Good men, bad men, you decide
We're lost in America, trying to get by
(REPEAT CHORUS x2)
LARS:
Everything changes, life gets harder
Peggy is promoted, Joan makes partner
Peter's in LA, Lane Pryce is buried
Megan sings "Zou Bisou," now we're married
In a dark penthouse I drink back doubts
Roger drops acid, Sally acts out
I scare away Hershey, colleagues peeved
A unanimous vote, and I'm placed on leave
Static from a black and white TV screams
Dick and Adam Whitman haunt my dreams
I've played and I've lost, now all that I've got
An empty pack of smokes, a broken bottle of scotch
Never seen a want I couldn't sell as a need
I'm falling from a skyscraper, picking up speed
Good men, bad men, you decide
We're lost in a America, trying to get by
(REPEAT CHORUS x2)
OUTRO x2:
Good men, bad men, you decide
We’re lost in America, trying to get by
LARS:
This week on Mad Men, Roger Sterling does a bunch of horrible things
Everyone is surprised, but not that surprised
As social issues play out in the background
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3. |
Monsters of Rock
03:47
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SCHAFFER:
Hey, MC Lars!
LARS:
What's that, Schaffer?
SCHAFFER:
We're making the band!
LARS:
Yeah!
SCHAFFER:
Literally
LARS:
That's-that's a good pun
SCHAFFER:
In an attempt to assemble the ultimate quintet
The rock world or any world has seen yet, we met
And schemed a way that we could get the best of the best
But in the end we had to settle for the bits that were left
We got nauseous
The stench of rotten flesh inside the coffins
Of Keith Moon, Buddy Rich
Mitch Mitchell, John Bohnam
We got 'em up, chopped 'em up
And sewed them together
Creating what would surely become
The greatest drummer ever
But wait this
Drummer needs a bassist, this is
When we dug up Dee Dee, Cliff Burton, and Sid Vicious
Rick James, Dave Blood
Pieced them all into one
Two abominations built, but we'd barely begun
We needed more of this
For a keyboardist, so we got the bodies
Of John Lennon, Ray Charles, even Liberace
Before completion of the resurrection, we reckon
We need some leads for this rhythm section, we got
CHORUS:
A couple shovels
A cart for haulin'
We going a-robbin'
The rock stars' coffins
A little thread
An electric shock and
They're alive
Our monsters are rockin'
LARS:
Moving on, Schaffer, this part's the hardest
The parts that we harvest now form our guitarist
Hendrix, Robert Johnson
That guy from Hawthorne Heights
A bit of Randy Rhoads from his final crazy flight
Ty Longley from Great White? His hands are too crispy
Let's open that FedEx sent from Corpus Christi
It's Selena, our singer
We've been dreaming of you
Pass me that hacksaw, we've got work to do
Yo Schaffer!
SCHAFFER:
Yes Lars?
LARS:
Hand me Eazy-E's tongue
You don't want HIV
Wash your hands when you're done
Check out GG Allin's torso but try not to laugh
At the tattoos that he copied from his first grade art class
We're dusting skull fragments from Kurt Cobain's garage
Picking up the teeth from Dimebag Darrell's shattered jaw
It's not easy going out with a bullet to the face
When your last is a gun-shot, then all it takes is
CHORUS:
A couple shovels
A cart for haulin'
We going a-robbin'
The rock stars' coffins
A little thread
An electric shock and
They're alive
Our monsters are rockin'
SCHAFFER:
Must have forgotten
That monsters rarely answer to masters
Our band's first slash last gig turned into disaster fast
Joey and Johnny Ramone's bones weren't compatible
And Johnny Thunder's leg kicked Johnny Cash's ass and all
LARS:
Then we mixed 2Pac's neck with Biggie's hands
He choked himself out, now he can barely stand
Our band's still infamous and they're hunger starved
Let's try again with some younger stars
SCHAFFER:
Maybe Amy Winehouse, the late British soul diva
LARS:
But she isn't dead yet!
SCHAFFER:
That gives me an idea...
LARS:
DJ AM survived some turbulence
How about Pete Wentz?
SCHAFFER:
Who?
LARS:
Haven't you heard of them?
SCHAFFER:
The kid's use a lot of auto-tune, but not a lot of heart
LARS:
I guess Wal-Mart culture discourages art
SCHAFFER:
Dead-eyed lifeless stars are rising the charts
LARS:
Next time we restart with more talented parts
CHORUS:
A couple shovels
A cart for haulin'
We going a-robbin'
The rock stars' coffins
A little thread
An electric shock and
They're alive
Our monsters are rockin'
Punk rock's dead
No pogo hoppin'
Death to false metal
Do the monster mosh and
Hip-hop's gone
Stop all the bottle poppin'
But we're alive!
Our monsters are rocking!
SCHAFFER:
My creation
Is it real?
You're my creation
I do not know
No hesitation
No heart of gold
Just flesh and blood
I do not know
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4. |
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MATT FURIE:
We have rituals
Sometimes I like to set up little toys around
Like, when I'm drawing
Like, uh, I'll just kinda, like
Come over here and be like
"Oh, today I'm gonna draw with, like
The lizard, or this pterodactyl that has
Kinda bent nose."
I'm gonna set those guys up
All up in the kaboodle here
LARS:
I'm a frog named Pepe - and I live
With my three best friends - I forgive
When they stink up the bathroom when I’m playing Doom
Close the door Landwolf, Damn! P U!
Cathode Ray to my giant eyes
Chillin’ in the graveyard, who’s that guy
With the pizza pie and the spider eggs
And the kiwi bird with the tiny legs?
Dat Boi, Harambe they crash on the floor
2017 internet lore
How did it happen I don’t really know
Up on the wall at the Mapplethorpe show
I’m a 4chan star don’t ask me why
When the memes on the scene straight multiply
Pants all the way down to my feet when I pee
‘cause it feels good man - so please let me be
CHORUS:
Boy's Club! Boy's Club!
Welcome to the Boys Club!
Making hella noise club
Welcome to the Boy's Club
Why? Cause it feels good man
Why? Cause it feels good man
Why? Cause it feels good man
Why? Cause it feels good man
SCHAFFER:
Uh, I'm a dog named Andy
Well, maybe not a dog, but I'm drawn with a handy
And a pair of lidded peeps and a piehole
And a pair of long ears, short shorts, I snort, I roll
With a bunch of bros, our apartment's stark
Quick with a thumbs up and a smart remark
The art is sharp, in color I'm mad yella
Snark when I'm gonna barf "my bad, fellas!"
As if! Sniffing rock bottom
Pop another bottle, and I'm often hotdoggin'
When I'm chilling like a champion, freezer stinks
I'm so freaking lit that I become a lynx
Now did you know a thing about a fancy cheese
That they pass through a cat? Sunglasses, please
On the last page? That was me, I guess
Got a catch phrase? That would be a yes
CHORUS:
Boy's Club! Boy's Club!
Welcome to the Boys Club!
Making hella noise club
Welcome to the Boy's Club
Why? Cause it feels good man
Why? Cause it feels good man
Why? Cause it feels good man
Why? Cause it feels good man
TRIBE ONE:
Yo, you ever seen a poop this lengthy?
I'm the truth in the bathroom dudes envy!
Crude with the 'tude, but my mood is friendly
Getting your attention ever so gently
Begging your pardon, my partner who rent
An apartment, it started, this pencil and parchment
The friendship is strength and ours won't be tarnished
And basically target this fart in your face!
Bam! My mind don't work backwards
Living in the moment 'cause I know what's coming after
RIP, I'll be lame when I'm dead
Eyes got to be on the prize, they ain't in my head
Landwolf, part man, part mammal
You never see me give a damn in any art panel
Anything is possible, everything is rock n' roll
We unstoppable, pants optional
CHORUS:
Boy's Club! Boy's Club!
Welcome to the Boys Club!
Making hella noise club
Welcome to the Boy's Club
Why? Cause it feels good man
Why? Cause it feels good man
Why? Cause it feels good man
Why? Cause it feels good man
DR. AWKWARD:
Inside, and my shades on
I'm fresh as the day's long
And my best friends are my roommates
And they zag wrapped, and my Js on
And they Batman to my Robin
They three choice in my op ed
And my name is Brett, I got a backwards hat
I got Whitney up in my walkman
Like "I'm every woman, it's all in me"
Got a treat in the freezer you won't believe!
Ask Sandy, 'cause Birddog's stupid
Or Pepe, when he's done pooping
I'm B-Money, my team funny
I'm Ansel Adams when Landwolf's puking!
CHORUS:
Boy's Club! Boy's Club!
Welcome to the Boys Club!
Making hella noise club
Welcome to the Boy's Club
Why? Cause it feels good man
Why? Cause it feels good man
Why? Cause it feels good man
Why? Cause it feels good man
OUTRO:
Going, Matt Furie on 'em
Matt Furie on 'em
Matt Furie on 'em
Man, Matt Furie on 'em
Indie comics all-star
Comics all-star
Indie comics all-star
Comics all-star
MATT FURIE:
Just basically, writing comic books, um
Is kind of for a loser, so, um
I lost big time in that department.
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5. |
Deconstructing Acme
03:52
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CHORUS:
Marvin Acme, didn't kill 'em, didn't kill 'em
Even though I wanted to, wanted to
LARS:
Playing patty cake with my wife backstage
Want to slash is chubby throat with a knife - hey!
The Gag King's got a gag in his mouth now
Disappearing quick like the ink on a blouse, wow!
Mickey Mouse might play that
But Roger's running quick with the heater, I'm a spray that
Dumdums come from Yosemite's gun
Marvin Acme, I'm a actually have a little bit of fun um
What's that you've got shipments coming through the back
On track like a train, chopping wolfie with an axe
It's a Silly Symphony hear you screaming in your sleep
"Here lies Marvin Acme", rotting, bloated six feet deep (uh)
Hmm... and even though I'm innocent
I dream of retribution nightly in my dreams 'cause ever since
I heard my girl was running round the town with the king
I'm going for his crown, best respect this wedding ring!
CHORUS:
Marvin Acme, didn't kill 'em, didn't kill 'em
Even though I wanted to, wanted to
LARS:
Who's true, boo? You knew all along?
It was R.K. Maroon? Set it up? You were a pawn?
They bribed a detective to snoop in the alley
Till Bongo saw him creeping, gave the boot to Eddie Valiant
And now I'm crying in the office
I don't understand, this is not what Disney promised
Plot twists, intrigue, murder, greed and sex
Marvin on the line, making calls and cashing checks
But look, if I had done it I would not have used a safe, word!
I would have tied him to a tree up in Hayward
I would have covered him in honey like in *Heavyweights*
I would get a back of grizzly bears, like maybe eight?
I could have starved them, in the woods with Marvin
*Grizzly Man* the prequel with the canine teeth - they're carving!
I heard my girl was running round the town with the king
That's why I'm going for his crown, best respect this wedding ring!
CHORUS:
Marvin Acme, didn't kill 'em, didn't kill 'em
Even though I wanted to, wanted to
SCHAFFER:
"Eponymous company man meets grim reaper!
Rabbit wanted in the death of Toontown keeper!*"
Who am I? I'm the one who knows most
Marvin Acme! And you look like you've seen a ghost (boo!)
As the CEO of Acme Inc.,
I sold the tools of the trade only coyotes would think (to use)
Singing swords, portable holes, and others
Put 'er there, pal! (BZZZ!) Hand buzzer!
Seriously, this murder conspiracy biz is nasty
The whole thing was a set up, kid, and you're the patsy!
Blackmailed for photos to frame you with motive
But Jessica did it to keep you in show biz!
She only loves you, she always will, buddy
You'll both inherit the town, check the will, dummy!
Your girl was never running 'round with the king
Please don't kill me, I never disrespected the ring
CHORUS:
Marvin Acme, didn't kill 'em, didn't kill 'em
Even though I wanted to, wanted to
OUTRO:
Patty cake, patty cake, baker's man
Catch me a body as fast as you can
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6. |
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LARS:
Wait what’s that noise? YTCracker, are those zombies?
YTCRACKER:
Zombies in the studio!
LARS:
This is our horrorcore song because it has zombies on it
YTCRACKER:
It sounds like a horrorcore song
LARS:
You know who we should get on this track to help us out?
YTCRACKER:
I’m thinking Zealous1 and Schaffer the Darklord
LARS:
Heck yeah!
YTCRACKER:
What should we call it Lars?
LARS:
I think we should call it Bruce Campbell
SCHAFFER:
Fresh from the cemetery, I’m a terrifying sight
With little bits of bloody flesh stuck to my mic
I will ruin you, reduce you to a puddle where you stand
Once I tear into your torso with my cold, dead hands
Blood, sweat and tears from your wounds start spewing
Fill a water bottle, swallow all your bodily fluids
You are nailed to a wall, full of holes like a dartboard
Still think you’re hardcore? Bow to your Darklord!
Splatter from the axe turns a blue shirt red
Severed head in a vise inside of my work shed
Deadheads get brains, Pinheads get chains
I annihilate you, then I violate your remains
You choked and you froze ’cause you got so scared
Toss your body in the cellar, hope you rot down there
Where upon your meat and screams, awful goblins feed
Bleedat! But never mind the “at,” just bleed!
CHORUS:
Get on the floor and do the Bruce Campbell
Get on the mic wax a chump like a candle
Four MC’s we’re more than you can handle
D-d-d-d-do the Bruce Campbell
Get on the floor and do the Bruce Campbell
Get on the mic wax a chump like a candle
Four MC’s we’re more than you can handle
Protect your neck and do the Bruce Campbell
YTCRACKER:
They need brains not the kind that you get in the back of a car
At the drive in but the kind where they’re hiding in fear
Laid up in a creaky house where the people shout
Night of the living dead instead full moon rising
Their surprising every chick with their shirt torn off
Got an axe with the blade worn off
They roam in the shadows split their melon
I’m telling talking bout the zombies stalking
Victims with a stick ‘em up
Dead flesh rotten don’t pick them up
On the side of the road or get yourself throwed
Become one of them and walk all slowed
On a quest for the grey matter nothing phatter
Than a mind like mine when the zombies dine
(CHORUS)
ZEALOUS1:
Back from the dead, got a bullet in my head
And 37 more from the buckshot spread
Suicidal thoughts like frost in your spine
The dragon won’t sleep till your souls all mine
Cut the flesh, blood spillin will entice me
I promise when I carve my name I’ll do it very nicely
Precisely, show your ladies I'm the best at this
I got them screamin for the zealous as the sexorcist
Don't mess with this, you just can’t hide
Ain’t gonna stop till the knifes inside
Twist to the left, lemme see your eyes
Twist to the right, I wanna taste you die
I stalk MC’s who are not believers
Make a microphone stand outta both their femurs
I love screamers, uh oh lets go
Gimme some sugar baby and do the Bruce Campbell
LARS:
Jeffrey Dahmer, here’s my story
You abhor me, you deplore me
Much too gory, violent glory
But this never would have happen if you hadn’t ignored me!
You laughed at me and my fat retainer
Now your son Stew is frozen in my refrigerator
If you’d just said hello when I passed in the hall
I wouldn’t be snacking on your dead boyfriend Paul
It’s just another day at the Ambassador Hotel
Milwaukee’s best travel bargain, please ignore the smell
Shrunken heads severed limbs, I’m mad belligerent
Murderous cannibal, far from innocent
The Dahmer Dinner Party is the best it’s true
And everywhere I go, I’ll take a part of you
There’s a key downstairs, and your name’s on it
I’ll get the stains out, you bring the comet
(CHORUS)
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7. |
Cops & Monsters
04:02
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LARS:
When Will Byers disappeared
We realized he was gone
I was sipping on that bottle
In my trailer by the pond
Out in Hawkins, Indiana
Where we count the fireflies
So when a kid goes missing
It’s a tragic strange surprise
That’s when they call Chief Hopper
I’ve been dealing with a lot
I’ve been tossing turning late at night
With all these angry thoughts
I know I’ll never be the same
Since cancer took my child
I miss her every day
Her laughter and her smile
We buried her in April
Then my wife and I divorced
I spent the summer drinking
Sleeping, crying on the porch
Joyce Byers, I know what it’s like
To have to lose a kid
Searching for him in the places
Where he played and where he hid
And I promise I’ll do everything
I can bring him home
Though we don’t where he’s gone
Just know you’re not alone
Because I’ve been to hell back
In fact, I’m not scared of that much
I’ll punch that Demogorgon
Then I’ll kick him in the nuts
CHORUS:
I’m going to punch that Demogorgon in the nuts
I’m going to slap him in the face ‘cause that’s what’s up
You can’t take a kid like Will
Plus Barb has been missing still
LARS:
Let’s face it
The Upside Down is nasty
Kind of like the Blair Witch
Threw a party if you asked me
And she invited all her friends
Hellboy, Jaws and Alien
The guestlist never ends
Jason and Mike Meyers
You might see them at the coat check
Covered with black slime and grime
You’ll really find that clothes get
A bit ruined so bring a hazmat suit
You'd better pack a gas mask
'Cause the air is toxic too
Spoiler alert
We found Will Byers rottin'
Unlike Barb forgotten
Blood vessels were clottin'
Pulled the snake out his mouth
While they played the Moby score
Thought we got it all
Turns out may be more
So now it’s time find that demon
And let him know I’m serious
I’m feeling kind furious
And yes a tab bit curious
About who the monster is
I know I’m gonna kick his butt
Punch him in his starfish face and flick him in the nuts!
(CHORUS)
SCHAFFER:
Wait! Hold up, chief, why would you do me like that?
What'd I ever do to you, dude? Just say it, and I'll take it back
I just want buddies, I am sick of ennui
So why's everybody always picking on me?
Like, when you call me Demogorgon, that's so mean, and you're the worst
I am like you, I am normal, I've got feelings, they get hurt
When I got popped by Lucas's wrist rocket, leveled by Eleven's powers
Can't you see that when I smile I become a flower?
Why you wanna make me cry, Hopper?
I know you'll never take me alive, copper
Is this the best it gets? Midwest depression fest?
Why can't you guess the guy from Vision Quest is the right monster?
As for Barb, I can't apologize or say enough
Sometimes I'm like a lonely puppy, I can play too rough and stuff
I'm back home in my right side up in the end
I'll be back next season trying to find another friend
(CHORUS)
SCHAFFER:
Seriously, I feel really bad about Barb. There's no excuse for what happened
It is entirely on me, and I know this doesn't make things right, but to
Barb's family and friends I want you to know that I am deeply, deeply sorry
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8. |
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MEGA RAN:
Uh. Uh huh. Who watch, who watch, who watch?
Yo, they passed the Keane Act without my feedback
Structure we lack, it’s all bout greenbacks
Time to beat back the wolves, but keep back
Cause times are changing – it’s off the meat rack
I’m on lockdown, but Doc’s on the case
Situation spotty like these dots on my face
Mask is back on, I tend to mine
'Cause if we don’t step up, the end is nigh
MC FRONTALOT:
Technically I’m Nite Owl II, don’t mix me up with the first one
Right on cue, observe a crime and alert some
Figures of authority, cause I’ve gone quits on the "cape game"
Midsection’s gone thick to my great shame!
And my gadgets are all dusty
But my conscience still nags pretty bad, you can trust me
To get fussy, also to get freaky
While we’re flying up on high in Archimedes!
CHORUS:
Who watches the Watchmen? (I don't know)
Who watches the Watchmen? (Man, I don't know)
Who watches the Watchmen? (I don't know)
But police in this town move way too slow
Who watches the Watchmen? (I don't know)
Who watches the Watchmen? (Man, I don't know)
Who watches the Watchmen? (I don't know)
But something's going on and the people want to know
MISS EAVES:
Hollywood wanna test me and make me 2D
Latex legacy my ex tastes of batteries
Ya! Women are from Venus, I'm on Mars
Learning the Comedian is my father
So guess crime-fighting is in my blood
My mom pushed me to this family business
Jailbreak queen, Rorschach out of Sing Sing
My existence makes Jon save everything
LARS:
Blood running down my face like the button in the street
A problematic hero? Many would would agree
Y'all ain’t ready for Eddie, have you heard what I did?
I went to Vietnam and I murdered some kids (what!)
See I’m part Thomas Hobbes sometimes a comedian
I was tossed out the window, landed on the median
Vigilante justice, hunting hippies with a smile
We protect them from themselves and we do it with style
(CHORUS)
SCHAFFER:
It is 1945, father is a watchmaker
It is '59, molecular incinerator
Jon is gone, in three months I am there again
Doc's a god, they'll say the superman's American
I am in the past, future, I am on Mars
I am 99 syllables in eight bars
The world's smartest man, wealthy by birthright
Is no more of a threat to me than is its smartest termite
QUELLE CHRIS:
The smartest man cold as winter
World turned me bitter
I been overstimulating before Facebook and Twitter
With a wall full of screens
Account full of green and
Built a hideout where it's white out
For the plotting and the scheming
Got a liger named Bubastis
I silenced and retired my peers
To cover the dark matter in my conscience
With time it won't get better
The dawn is turning redder
Show the world to its demise so it can get itself together
(CHORUS)
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9. |
World On Fire
05:45
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SCHAFFER:
Step in to the garden, we're gonna lock the gate
We gotta keep out the sinners, gotta keep out the hate
Look at the horizon, the time is coming near
Look out at the world on fire, look at the people frozen in fear
Revelation 21:7
The Alpha and Omega, the beginning and ending
O holy blessing, let us prep for Armageddon
I am the Father, shepherding my children into heaven
YES! I started with a vision, and then came the rest
I’m like a more charismatic David Koresh
There are others here like you, lost but they got found
Locked down upon a Montana compound
Let the heretics march in the streets
We’ll be sovereign, self-governed, armed to the teeth
When the judgment comes down and takes the heathens
We’ll be standing righteous at the Gates of Eden
And then before the choir, harken the creed
I said that every forest fire starts with a Seed
Amen now take the blade and carve your sin in your skin
And wash away, let your let atonement begin
It’s like pride, wrath, envy, lust
Sloth, greed, gluttony, trust
That when they learn that it’s too late, they’ll come for us, breaking
But God will not let them take me
We won't listen to their crying
They had their chance to see the light
All of this I saw in ashes and frozen
For all of this, I didn’t ask, I was chosen
We won't be handing out no pardons
'Cause the world is gonna end tonight
Something is coming, you can feel it, can’t you?
That’s the reckoning the angels have been screaming at you
The signs you haven’t seen have shown us that it’s started
Your kind has brought depravity, the locusts in our garden
Hardened skeptics will say I’m insane and call us a cult
Their own homes in disarray, they’ll scoff and insult
But we will exult for these are tests we must face
I’ve lost brothers and sons, more than once I’ve lost Faith
But God spoke to me, a nobody from nowhere with nothing
He taketh a child, warned us the sinners are hunting
That they will come for our weapons, that they will come with a rope
That they will come for our freedom, but they will never take Hope
And I heard as it were the noise of thunder
A cleansing by fire, entire world torn asunder
Under sirens and wolves and baptists called in for curfew
We’ll be reborn into a new dawn of virtue
It’s like chastity, charity, diligence, patience
Temperance, humility, kindness, statements
Will be reiterated as the ground begins shaking
That God will not let them take me
We won't listen to their screaming
They had their chance to do what's right
The falling crimson sky will crash in the ocean
For all of this, I didn’t ask, I was chosen
They'll be begging for forgiveness
'Cause the world is gonna end tonight
Testify, my child
LARS:
How sweet the sound of my father’s voice
Made the move up north to Montana by choice
An English professor with tenure denied
Because I taught Huck Finn against a stark racial divide
When a student complained I was fired for a quote
Taken out of context, faculty took a vote
And I was out on the street with a worthless degree
That’s when I read about this place of unity and peace
Where I could finally see bliss existing past the veil
I left a world of phonies, Holden Caulfield had set sail
How could I be a teacher when the past had been rewritten?
That’s when I saw the statue in the moonlight, I was smitten
Because what if he’s right? Doesn’t that make you think?
Everyone’s a little crazy, and the world’s on the brink
Of destruction and flames, but Gatsby’s glad that I’m here
Eden’s Gate open up, healing me and fears - no more
SCHAFFER:
War, famine, pestilence, death
The martyrs will trumpet the cataclysmic events
And when it’s just us left, you’ll know that I wasn’t faking
‘Cause God will not even take me
We won't listen to your begging
You had your chance to stand and fight
Where once were seven seals, the last of them’s broken
For all of this, I didn’t ask, I was frozen
And now you'll end your days in darkness
'Cause the world is gonna end tonight
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Schaffer the Darklord
Schaffer the Darklord (or STD) is a New York City-based rapper and comedian with material best-suited for brainy and/or drug- addled audiences. With manic energy, verbose vocabulary and cartoonishly commanding stage presence, STD skewers such topics as hedonistic substance abuse, sexual compulsion, urban anxiety and obsessive cat-enthusiasts. ... more
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