Well my name is Schaffer and I’m here to say
I can rock the mic in the old school way
I got a funky sound
And right about now I’d like to break it down

Uh, uh, say what? Go!

Just call it hip hop, and not a thing it isn’t
If you listen it’s similar, it isn’t any different
Rhythmically delivered lyrics from a wicked beast
Are but one of this and hip hop’s similarities

‘Cause I go “bounce” in my shows and do rap hands
See, look at me, now give me a dap, fans
My whole crew back during our youths
We bumped Dr. Dre, grew up on Dr. Seuss

I choose to use the word “rapper” ‘cause that is most accurate
I do talk fast use rhyming words like “immaculate”
Hubba Bubba Bubbleyum Bubbalicious bubble gum
Rubber baby buggy bumpers, here I come (hi!)

I did raps in my heyday you could call hypocritical
But I listened and learned and grew and got more political
I wanna send a shout-out to Random and Front
And those who taught me to be thoughtful with stuff and say “what?!”

Well, I’ve got some damage and some baggage and some habits
My name is STD, I’m just a whole bunch of rabbits
I’m so dapper, this is a fact too
A whole bunch of rabbits stacked inside of a man suit

Well, I’ve got some damage and some baggage and some habits
My name is STD, I’m just a whole bunch of rabbits

Everyone will wonder when in spring, fall or summer
I will play their town and step to the mic
They’ve been begging for the rapper who’s just a bunch of rabbits
When I hit the stage they’re all hella psyched (outta sight)

I don’t freestyle, I write and re-write words
‘Cause for me that’s a skill so difficult it’s absurd
Rappers who can, the most advanced that I have heard
Where STD is just abbreviation for standard (oh!)

My DJ does shows when he’s able
Otherwise it’s just tracks, a 58 and a cable
An onstage DI and some monitors too
But no reverb on the mix, sound techs, thank you

And sometimes I get gruff and say “step the fuck back”
I apologize for that - isn’t how I like to act
I like to keep my audience up close to the stage
But sometimes I need little space right after I play

So where’s Queens at? (what?) Where’s Queens at? (what?)
Dude, let me show you on this street map (oh!)
It’s right here, over Roosevelt, across the East River
That’s enough of that, yeah, I’ve got some raps to deliver (oh!)

Every bunny, look at me
Who’s he? He’s STD
He’s that freak from NYC
In suits who yells and poses, see? (oh!)

And he’s so - I don’t know
I know he’s so dapper, and that’s when I go

Hotel, motel
Holiday Inn
Every time I cite lines from Rapper’s Delight
Goosebumps are jumping out of my skin (I win)

And I dance given any goddamn chance
Even when in the back by the merch with the fans
Pull a pen from my pocket when I autograph a poster
Sipping cheap, yellow beer, clear out when meet n’ greet’s over

When a rapper says “throw your hands up!” I do
When a rapper says “make some noise!” I do
Exciting an audience is part of the process
So I’ll always try to do it, that’s the STD promise

I’ve tried to battle rap, but it’s hard and I’m wack
So instead I keep my focus where my talents are at
Goddamnit, and I won’t be grammar pedantic
Language keeps evolving and it’s usage is organic

I got props for the real hip hop
Those who pop and lock to the beat of a boom box
Throwing parties on the block like “fuck the cops”
Gunning for that top spot, and you don’t stop

Every bunny, look at me
Who’s he? He’s STD
He’s that freak from NYC
In suits who yells and poses, see? (oh!)

And he’s so - I don’t know
I know he’s so dapper, and that’s when I go

Don’t push me ‘cause I’m close to the edge
And I’m trying not to lose my head (uh huh huh huh huh)

I’m not the best or the baddest, I’m a colony of rabbits
Stuffed inside a human costume instead (I said)

I almost always write my rhymes on a page
Of 3 x 5 notebooks I buy at Rite Aid
And I like to write them with a Pilot Precise Five
Rolling ball, black ink in extra fine, I

Sometimes use a titular line
Try sticking to my theme and write original rhymes
Indeed I smoke weed, I rarely write without it
And once again for like the hundredth time I’ve rapped about it

I guess I often write a song by my formula
Which is three verse followed by three choruses
And often open going “yo! yo!”
It just flows and gets it going when I open a show

Though I won’t suggest I’m always knowing what I’m doing (what? what? what? what?)
‘Cause oftentimes awful rhymes do ruin (ugh)
An otherwise perfectly fine instrumental
Sometimes I do avoid ink and write with a pencil

And erase the parts that don’t sound so hot
This will all be covered in my workshop
Entitled, “This Is How to Write a Rhyme
At Least It’s How to Write One in the Style That’s Mine”

Every bunny, look at me
Who’s he? He’s STD
He’s that freak from NYC
In suits who yells and poses, see? (oh!)

And he’s so - I don’t know
I know he’s so dapper, and that’s when I go

Ooh! Ooh! Yo, it’s animal control
But I really doubt they’re coming for me
‘Cause nobody has called that I’m not human at all
And that I’m rabbits masked as STD

Just call it hip hop, and not a thing it isn’t
It isn’t any different, did you listen as I did it?
I just spit a mile a minute, now I’ll hit it and quit it
I’m only kidding, you with it? You in it? You get it?

Well, I’ve got some damage and some baggage and some habits
My name is STD, I’m just a whole bunch of rabbits
Bass! How low can you go?
If you don’t know, your little brother knows

This is the end of the track called the Rabbits
And thanks for coming out to the show