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The Mayor's Head

from 999 by MC Lars & Schäffer the Darklord

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about

Inspired by The Nightmare Before Christmas (1993).

lyrics

From playgrounds to way down, I’m always campaigning
In H-Town, shake a hand and kiss a baby
Maybe the voters think I seem a little shady
‘Cause on the back of my head, I’ve got a second face, see?
Hey, B, I’m for when reporters finish taping
Not for when addressing crowds of gentlemen and ladies
It’s crazy, behind closed doors I say things
So racy, they leak, I just apologize and blame me
Mr. Mayor, Mr. Mayor, take your aim for the middle
A politician’s gotta keep their head on a swivel
Mr. Mayor, Mr. Mayor, play your base for a fiddle
Two faces on one head on a swivel
Mr. Mayor, Mr. Mayor, all the papers run drivel
Give a spin for the press, head on a swivel
Mr. Mayor, Mr. Mayor, they are getting uncivil
I can’t make decisions, I’m an elected official
Ask the people what they need, it’s me, a leader
A cleaner record than the rest and never been a cheater
Jeepers, gotta stop a scandal getting deeper
Keep her quiet with a diamond necklace and a Beemer
Feed an ugly war against the demons in the teamsters
A lad from Saint Patrick’s Land will break a couple femurs
I’m eager for plans for next Halloween, I’ll see your
Behemoth in the ballot booth, pulling on the lever
From seniors to teachers, underneath the stairs creatures
I need your support, let me make you a believer
A schemer, I gerrymander land in Easter
The grim reaper, holding foes’ feet to the heater
Mr. Mayor, Mr. Mayor, take your aim for the middle
A politician’s gotta keep their head on a swivel
Mr. Mayor, Mr. Mayor, play your base for a fiddle
Two faces on one head on a swivel
Mr. Mayor, Mr. Mayor, all the papers run drivel
Give a spin for the press, head on a swivel
Mr. Mayor, Mr. Mayor, they are getting uncivil
I can’t make decisions, I’m an elected official
I was made for this, sent to inspire
My community of ghouls and vampires
Liar, my aspirations run much higher
Earn a fortune off of bribes, hide away and retire
Though the government’s beholden to a royal empire
I’m preaching to the choir, but the crown is admired
Fire, I’ll burn the king alive on a pyre
Have that phony bony jackass calling me sire
Every child will achieve the heights to which they aspire
Prosperity for all, my resolve will not tire
If required, I’ll collect dirt wearing a wire
I will never ever cower from the power I desire
Mr. Mayor, Mr. Mayor, take your aim for the middle
A politician’s gotta keep their head on a swivel
Mr. Mayor, Mr. Mayor, play your base for a fiddle
Two faces on one head on a swivel
Mr. Mayor, Mr. Mayor, all the papers run drivel
Give a spin for the press, head on a swivel
Mr. Mayor, Mr. Mayor, they are getting uncivil
I can’t make decisions, I’m an elected official

credits

from 999, released February 9, 2024

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Schaffer the Darklord

Schaffer the Darklord (or STD) is a New York City-based rapper and comedian with material best-suited for brainy and/or drug- addled audiences. With manic energy, verbose vocabulary and cartoonishly commanding stage presence, STD skewers such topics as hedonistic substance abuse, sexual compulsion, urban anxiety and obsessive cat-enthusiasts. ... more

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