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Produced by Rich Matthew
Released 2020

lyrics

SCHAFFER:
I was orphaned by droid forces, formed in the Clone Wars
Adopted by warriors and trained behind closed doors
Of fortified coverts where the armor is forged
Where sad songs are sung of the Siege of Mandalore

LARS:
Baby Yoda Baby Yoda I be trending what I mean
Is it’s hard to not see me in every 2020 meme
I’m 50 years old I must drink a lot of water
IG-11 tried to take me out but he got slaughtered

SCHAFFER:
So I learned how to hunt and found a touch for the biz
Out looking for bounties, don’t matter much what it is
Cuz I got nothing to prove, even less to lose
Save for a mask made of steel which I never remove

LARS:
And I can use the force of course when battling a Mudhorn
The Sorgan kids love me, but I’m paranoid like Osbourne
Will the Mando leave me here, with these girls and boys?
What does this ball do, Mando?

SCHAFFER:
This ship is not a toy!

CHORUS:
A powerful orphan, a soldier of fortune
Running from the law and an assortment of horsemen
On an adventure, whistling birds of a feather
Two Friendalorians, we’re in this together
I’m just doing a job, while I’m unscrewing knobs
Connected by fate, tracked by dozens of fobs
We keep riding till the end of our story, and
We were destined to be the very best of Friendalorians

SCHAFFER:
See I tried to keep it quiet, I tried to avoid violence
When the target for a mysterious ex-Imperial client
Turned out to be a child, as alone as I once was
Kept the cash and the kid and now we’re out on the run

LARS:
Remember on Nevarro, how Kuiil sacrificed his life
Iced by the Stormtroopers, concise and precise
Mando never trusted droids - he should see a shrink
‘Cause IG saved my life, and I missed you just like blink (182)

SCHAFFER:
Desperados of the Outer Rim with a price on our heads
We’ll keep hiding, and they’ll keep setting sights till we’re dead
I will honor the creed, the oath I swore to this day
To protect him as though he were mine, this is the way

LARS:
And it fits so neatly, everything is peachy
Look!! I just realized I can do neck squeezies

SCHAFFER:
Stop! She’s a friend!! You’ll kill her!

LARS:
A Jedi and a Bounty Hunter, sounds a bit familiar

(CHORUS)

credits

from The Friendalorians, released February 28, 2020
Produced by Rich Matthew
Released 2020

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Schaffer the Darklord

Schaffer the Darklord (or STD) is a New York City-based rapper and comedian with material best-suited for brainy and/or drug- addled audiences. With manic energy, verbose vocabulary and cartoonishly commanding stage presence, STD skewers such topics as hedonistic substance abuse, sexual compulsion, urban anxiety and obsessive cat-enthusiasts. ... more

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