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Previously released as Patreon track (September 2019)

lyrics

[CHORUS]
Slow bros
Why you going so slow?
Like you’re going slo-mo
Taking up the whole road
Oh no
Slow bros walking in a line, bros
Looking at your iPhones
Look, I’m out of time
No time
Go slow bros

Walking down on my block
Taking up the sidewalk
Left and right sides blocked
You got me in a tight spot
I’m trying to get by, got
To get uptown to my job
Was moving at a light jog
But now I’m stuck behind y’all
If I pass these white jocks
Will they mock how I walk
Or look at me with eyes crossed?
Probably best if I cross
But if you wanna fight, Brock
I’ll kick your fucking lights off
And outline you in white chalk
Mic drop

[CHORUS]

Where’s your destination?
Are you going places?
Or are you only pacing
At the pace of Jason?
Are you secret agents
With hidden lairs in basements
Like military bases
Commanding battle stations?
Did you come in spaceships
Wearing human faces
Preparing an invasion
Determined to enslave us?
Or were these just arrangements
To guarantee my lateness?
I’m running out of patience
Say it

[CHORUS]

Slow bros
Shake you like a snow globe
Take you to my dojo
Break your fucking nose bones
Oh no
Slow bros
Maybe all your mojo
Chose to be a no-show
And that’s what makes you so slow
But I don’t really know though

credits

from Junk Drawer #3, released December 4, 2020
Contains samples of Portishead’s “Glory Box” (1994) and Bottledog’s “White Tigers Holding Up the Earth” (1998)
Lyrics by Schaffer the Darklord
STD vocals recorded 2019

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Schaffer the Darklord

Schaffer the Darklord (or STD) is a New York City-based rapper and comedian with material best-suited for brainy and/or drug- addled audiences. With manic energy, verbose vocabulary and cartoonishly commanding stage presence, STD skewers such topics as hedonistic substance abuse, sexual compulsion, urban anxiety and obsessive cat-enthusiasts. ... more

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