I got a lot, I got a lot of pockets
And in my pockets I got a lot of objects
Anything you want I bet I probably got it
‘Cause I got an awful lot in my pockets

I got a lot, I got a lot of pockets
And in my pockets I got a lot of objects
Maybe I’m a hoarder or whatever you call it
But yeah, I got a lot of stuff in my pockets

What I’m always telling you? PKW
Phone, keys, wallet, Ilana, PKW
I’m running through an inventory of my pockets
Phone, keys, wallet, wallet, keys, phone, wallet – got it

Check them off the list and see what we missed
Got a cool mint spritzer in a Listerine Mist
Next to a Chapstick, flavor: original
Four black rubber gloves, I ain’t even kidding, y’all

I got a handkerchief and half a pack of Chiclets
A gold adapter and some old raffle tickets
Eleven ultra lights left in a pack
A fresh Bic lighter (What color is it?) black, duh

A paperclip, a Duane Reade receipt
Apple earbuds and a couple of beats
A fine point roller ball, a notebook too
In which I wrote these lyrics and drew pictures of dicks

I got a lot, I got a lot of pockets
And in my pockets I got a lot of objects
Anything you want I bet I probably got it
‘Cause I got an awful lot in my pockets

I got a lot, I got a lot of pockets
And in my pockets I got a lot of objects
Maybe I’m a hoarder or whatever you call it
But yeah, I got a lot of stuff in my pockets

And if it gets intense, I got a leather collar
I got fifty cents and forty-seven dollars
A lucky talisman, a foot from a rabbit, son
Half a dozen bullets though I never really had a gun

A cookie fortune with a sick prediction
Sixty doses each of my six prescriptions
A macaroni poster that a little kid made
A switchblade comb, also got a switchblade

A broken bracelet that states I’m living fabulous
A room key card from the Hyatt Minneapolis
I have a hammer, I got a power sander
And a mint condition ’82 Cobra Commander

I got power chargers and batteries for days
Talking 9 volts, D-cells, triple double A’s
An inaccurate schematic for a nuclear bomb
And an autographed photograph of me and your mom

I got a lot, I got a lot of pockets
And in my pockets I got a lot of objects
Anything you want I bet I probably got it
‘Cause I got an awful lot in my pockets

I got a lot, I got a lot of pockets
And in my pockets I got a lot of objects
Maybe I’m a hoarder or whatever you call it
But yeah, I got a lot of stuff in my pockets

I got some coasters and coke mirrors and frisbees
And every CD every local band ever gives me
I got a sailboat, it’s got a missing rudder
Got a loaf of bread, container of milk, a stick of butter

An untouched 35mm print of Star Wars
A peanut butter cup, a couple of car doors
From a DeLorean, a portrait of Dorian
I got a bunch of live goddamn scorpions

I got a mannequin and a jack-o-lantern
A bottle of pinot and a glass decanter
I got bedbugs, a slug bug and a pair of pliers
I got earplugs, a butt plug, I’m wearing a wire

A full set of horseshoes and a pony bridle
An ice sculpture of a moose on a motorcycle
The Mona Lisa crafted in ceramic beads
Got a pepperoni pizza and a bag of weed