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  • The Department of Darkness Deluxe Edition USB
    USB Flash Drive + Digital Album

    This credit card-sized USB drive contains the debut album from The Department of Darkness, plus instrumentals, acapellas, bonus tracks, photos, detailed album notes, video and more. 4GB drive measures 3.37" x 2.13" and 0.09" thick.

    Includes unlimited streaming of The Department of Darkness via the free Bandcamp app, plus high-quality download in MP3, FLAC and more.

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lyrics

Yo, you got a problem? I got some, lots of ‘em
Everywhere I look, I’m crawling with ‘em, rotten ones
Bottom rung dwellers want a bare knuckle catfight
They got skeletons and belt buckles, that’s right

Here they come, bum bum hits the kick drum
Wicked like the pictures, get your stun gun, dum dum
I’m done, son, better boost up the pace
They got me cruising through space, they got me losing my faith

They got me right where they want me, and they’re coming in hot
Gotta slip a little distance in, get under their shots
I brought a bat to a cannon battle, run to the spot
And hold up inside and pack up my pride and cry “mother of god!”

Rocking a hate-based rage making it up to the top
Feel like my eyeballs’ll burst, my eardrums gonna pop
I got my talons out, calling like a bald eagle
I got seven billion problems, and they’re all people

I hate people, I hate people, they’re evil
At their best, they’re bad, at their worst, they’re lethal
Lost all hope, past the end of my rope
I’m just a misanthrope, and I can’t cope, people

I hate people, see, all people equally
Just a plague upon a planet we inhabit needlessly
It’s too late for me to wait for what the future brings
I’ve seen the human beings ruin things

Watch ‘em cheat and steal and turn a blind eye
Watch the self-serving, back-stabbing, wolf criers lie
Watch ‘em feed, turn their wants to needs, greed getting big
Watch ‘em wallow in their sickness, filthy two-legged pigs

Watch ‘em pass you on the right, park and take up two spaces
Interrupt you when you when you’re speaking, making smug, vacant faces
Cut you at the bar, plunking down not a bone
And come to a dead stop on the stairs and then fuck around on their phones

Back peddle hate speech like they were jesting only
Block a sidewalk, walking four abreast slowly
Push their way aboard and block the doors on the train
Out with their hella giant umbrellas after the passing of rain

You mouth-breathing, open-mouth-eating cretins spit and spray
You manspreading, mansplaining pricks, put your dicks away
You name-dropping, shade-tossing, never-been stars
Oh god, delete this species, please start over on Mars

I hate people, I hate people, they’re evil
At their best, they’re bad, at their worst, they’re lethal
Lost all hope, past the end of my rope
I’m just a misanthrope, and I can’t cope, people

I hate people, see, all people equally
Just a plague upon a planet we inhabit needlessly
It’s too late for me to wait for what the future brings
I’ve seen the human beings ruin things

All of the sexist and the racist and deluded
White dudes who think that criticism equals persecution
Fuck the All Lives Matter crowd, feed ‘em to the fishes
With the sickening Christians calling their bigotry freedom of religion

The pious with their bias-backing stats they cite as facts
And the bros in feminist clothes who don’t get claps, then attack
The sexual predators, circling sharks who depend
Upon the support of the chickenshit rape apologists they call friends

Like that pretentious artist fuck who fights that man is better
And that no-talent hack who still bites the hands that fed her
The guy who wanted me working for free and talked shit when I didn’t
And all of the kids who say that I suck who’ve been in my scene for like minutes

Those who have the power to resist, but wouldn’t dare
And the child in the White House and those who put him there
I’m over ‘em, fed up, I’m had enough of their stay
And if you’re with me, put a hand up, now go the fuck away

I hate people, I hate people, they’re evil
At their best, they’re bad, at their worst, they’re lethal
Lost all hope, past the end of my rope
I’m just a misanthrope, and I can’t cope, people

I hate people, see, all people equally
Just a plague upon a planet we inhabit needlessly
It’s too late for me to wait for what the future brings
I’ve seen the human beings ruin things

Now fuck off

credits

from The Department of Darkness, released October 1, 2018
Vince Vandal: instrumental and mix
Schaffer the Darklord: lyrics and vocal recording

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Schaffer the Darklord

Schaffer the Darklord (or STD) is a New York City-based rapper and comedian with material best-suited for brainy and/or drug- addled audiences. With manic energy, verbose vocabulary and cartoonishly commanding stage presence, STD skewers such topics as hedonistic substance abuse, sexual compulsion, urban anxiety and obsessive cat-enthusiasts. ... more

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