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Cat People 2020

by Schaffer the Darklord

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about

In 2003 Schaffer the Darklord wrote a song called "Cat People." In 2004 he recorded a demo of that song over a beat created by Dave Famous. In 2006 he re-recorded the song in a studio over a remix of Famous's beat created by Nate Mars. That version of the song was released on the 2007 album "Mark of the Beast." In 2019, after performing the song regularly for 16 years, Schaffer commissioned producer Vince Vandal to create an all-new live instrumental for the song to give it new life onstage. Vandal's beat was far too hot to be paired with the old vocal stems from 2006 which didn't reflect the little lyrical tweaks and nuances that had been added over the years. So Schaffer recorded a fresh set of vocals, Vandal mixed the track and this new version of the song was released as Schaffer's first Patreon exclusive track in July 2019. In June 2020 Schaffer released the track as a single with the title "Cat People 2020." Meow.

lyrics

My cat people, throw your paws in the air
Meow meow, meow meow
And wave them all around, but do it like you care
Meow meow, meow meow

Here, kitty kitty, here, kitty kitty, here
Little kitty licks her front paw, washes her ear
Tickle on her whisker, little cat'll attack
She’ll grab your wrist with the front claws, kick with the back

And she can swipe like this
Back off an attacker with a hiss
And the kitty's moaning owns you
Oh no, did you know there's ammonia in her piss?

Let me stroke your fur, let me hear you purr, kitty cat
Oh my god, you're so cute, damnit, look at that
Arching your back high, flashing the cat eye
Fighting with mice with nine lives like you'll never die

For some our cats are less like
Pets than our kids
And we worship them like
The ancient Egyptians did, and we are

[CHORUS]
Cat people, meow meow meow
Right now all the kitties in the house
Show the fangs in your mouth
As you pounce on a mouse

Cat people, meow meow meow
With the little bitty claws
On their little kitty paws
Get down with a round of applause

Cat people, meow meow meow
Good god, we're odd
No dogs allowed
But we're proud, and we meow it loud

Cat people, meow meow meow
Rub them like you love them now
And all my bitchy little kitties say “meow"

Petting on my pussy like he wanted me, wanted me to
Do you do what you cat wants you to do? Sure you do
‘Cause our cats control our actions, they run this system
And our homes really belong to them, we just live with them

Four story cat tree stands in the corner
Of the home of the owner holding a laser pointer
Little bag of cat nip fast to attract them
Post for the action, attack with the scratching

Acting like a captain as they pace in the place
Making biscuits in your lap with their ass in your face (break!)
Hit the sack, ten-hour cat nap
Feline makes a beeline for your lap

But when you leave and come home, you're all alone
Kitty's out the cat door, listen for moans
Oh no, no note by the phone or the dish
Little kitty never licked the liver, chicken or fish

Leave the ball of yarn
All in the yard for the breeding
As all my cat people in here
Hearing this beat are in heat, and we are

[CHORUS]

Now, not all cat people belong to the same team
And what I mean is that not all of us are quite what we seem
You see, all of us inside have beating hearts that are warm
But some of have powers, into cats we transform

Under a full moon or a quarter moon or a half moon
In a bad mood with bad breath, yes, cat food
Like werewolves, but wolves are dogs
And we're cats so we're sneaky slinking in through the fog

And we've all got a little pink butt
Now tell me what you think of that, what?
Playing with our own cats as cats
That's a fact, together in packs, we can track rats

We can play real mean, chase each other up a screen
Or a tree or play sweet and even lick each other clean
Ravenous animals act a little wild
And we do it like the humans do it, kitty style

Fighting and fucking and hunting and sleeping
And breeding and eating and killing and that's
What we do when we're kitties, next morning we're human
We laughed, and we cried, it was better than Cats

[CHORUS]

credits

released June 5, 2020
Written by Schaffer the Darklord, 2003
Vocals recorded by Schaffer the Darklord, 2019
Produced and mixed by Vince Vandal, 2019

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Schaffer the Darklord

Schaffer the Darklord (or STD) is a New York City-based rapper and comedian with material best-suited for brainy and/or drug- addled audiences. With manic energy, verbose vocabulary and cartoonishly commanding stage presence, STD skewers such topics as hedonistic substance abuse, sexual compulsion, urban anxiety and obsessive cat-enthusiasts. ... more

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