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  • The Department of Darkness Deluxe Edition USB
    USB Flash Drive + Digital Album

    This credit card-sized USB drive contains the debut album from The Department of Darkness, plus instrumentals, acapellas, bonus tracks, photos, detailed album notes, video and more. 4GB drive measures 3.37" x 2.13" and 0.09" thick.

    Includes unlimited streaming of The Department of Darkness via the free Bandcamp app, plus high-quality download in MP3, FLAC and more.

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lyrics

I burned your house down when you weren’t around to scare, you
Moved in with your parents so I burnt down theirs too
To make it better for your backbiting
I left a letter said I did it in your handwriting

Before I made off with your cash and your jewels
Covered your car in nazi stickers, drove it into a school
And left it, hacked your cloud, found stuff I wasn’t meant to see
Sent it to your boss, cold stole your identity

I sent bombs threats and caused and international crisis
I drained your savings and donated them to ISIS
Selected all your drafts, clicked on the backspace
I made and circulated pics of you in blackface

The rumors spread through, just like I meant to
Buddied up your friends too, turned them all against you
But the worst crime was after the fact
When you talked about it, why would you do that?

You’re a bully, a bully bully
Yeah, just like the ones that I had as a kid
You fucking bully, a bully bully
Because you told folks about the things I actually did

You’re a bully, a bully bully
Speaking out’s an evil even demons never would do
You’re the bully, you’re just a dead-ass bully
And now my reputation’s ruined, how could you?

I’m here to tell it like it is now
So haters don’t give me no lip now
Your girlfriend hopping on my dick now
We invisible, you can’t see my clique now

I’m on the wing, you John Lithgow
I found your journal and I ripped out
A couple pages cause you bitched out
I never did that shit, you snitch, wow

Just because you thought I was a gentleman
You stupid though, I’m all about the Benjamin
Franklin, it’s time I gave you the spanking
That you deserve, I’m swerving and you sank in

Into a pit that I dug out in my basement
You dead now, job looking for replacement
Ay, I’m a good guy, why did you test me?
I sink you in the lake like Nessie

Body decomposing, now you messy
Stop blowing horns, you not Gillespie
Oh, boo, why did you have to say #metoo
When it was you who chose to wear clothes that I could see through?

Honestly, I didn’t mean to
But you were gonna tell all what we’d been through
Ooh, you could’ve been my queen too, boo
But now we through, and it’s your loss, bye bye

So, there’s three truths in every moment
Yours, mine and the facts, and everybody knows it
Yo, the one that favors me is the one that I’ve chosen
And I own it, I guess my truth hurts, don’t it?

No one notices through all my spin, your story remains
I campaign for their hearts, pour poison in brains
And maybe all my daily posts of it are overkill
I’m Scut Farkas with a whole squad of Grover Dills

Serving as the chorus in my theater of victimhood
I wish you would’ve let it go, but watch the show, your ticket’s good
And you’ve withstood the scrutiny and lies, and you have stayed true
But once I’m done, nobody will believe you

I’ll just claim that this is literally killing me
And get away with it without accountability
And any breakthroughs that receipts may prove
I’ll double down crying “bully” like I’m crying “fake news”

You’re a bully, a bully bully
Yeah, just like the ones that I had as a kid
You fucking bully, a bully bully
Because you told folks about the things I actually did

You’re a bully, a bully bully
Speaking out’s an evil even demons never would do
You’re the bully, you’re just a dead-ass bully
And now my reputation’s ruined, how could you?

credits

from The Department of Darkness, released October 1, 2018
Vince Vandal: instrumental and mix
Schaffer the Darklord lyrics and vocal recording
Coolzey: lyrics and vocal recording

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Schaffer the Darklord

Schaffer the Darklord (or STD) is a New York City-based rapper and comedian with material best-suited for brainy and/or drug- addled audiences. With manic energy, verbose vocabulary and cartoonishly commanding stage presence, STD skewers such topics as hedonistic substance abuse, sexual compulsion, urban anxiety and obsessive cat-enthusiasts. ... more

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