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The Friendalorians

by MC Lars & Schäffer the Darklord

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1.
SCHAFFER: I was orphaned by droid forces, formed in the Clone Wars Adopted by warriors and trained behind closed doors Of fortified coverts where the armor is forged Where sad songs are sung of the Siege of Mandalore LARS: Baby Yoda Baby Yoda I be trending what I mean Is it’s hard to not see me in every 2020 meme I’m 50 years old I must drink a lot of water IG-11 tried to take me out but he got slaughtered SCHAFFER: So I learned how to hunt and found a touch for the biz Out looking for bounties, don’t matter much what it is Cuz I got nothing to prove, even less to lose Save for a mask made of steel which I never remove LARS: And I can use the force of course when battling a Mudhorn The Sorgan kids love me, but I’m paranoid like Osbourne Will the Mando leave me here, with these girls and boys? What does this ball do, Mando? SCHAFFER: This ship is not a toy! CHORUS: A powerful orphan, a soldier of fortune Running from the law and an assortment of horsemen On an adventure, whistling birds of a feather Two Friendalorians, we’re in this together I’m just doing a job, while I’m unscrewing knobs Connected by fate, tracked by dozens of fobs We keep riding till the end of our story, and We were destined to be the very best of Friendalorians SCHAFFER: See I tried to keep it quiet, I tried to avoid violence When the target for a mysterious ex-Imperial client Turned out to be a child, as alone as I once was Kept the cash and the kid and now we’re out on the run LARS: Remember on Nevarro, how Kuiil sacrificed his life Iced by the Stormtroopers, concise and precise Mando never trusted droids - he should see a shrink ‘Cause IG saved my life, and I missed you just like blink (182) SCHAFFER: Desperados of the Outer Rim with a price on our heads We’ll keep hiding, and they’ll keep setting sights till we’re dead I will honor the creed, the oath I swore to this day To protect him as though he were mine, this is the way LARS: And it fits so neatly, everything is peachy Look!! I just realized I can do neck squeezies SCHAFFER: Stop! She’s a friend!! You’ll kill her! LARS: A Jedi and a Bounty Hunter, sounds a bit familiar (CHORUS)
2.
INTRO: Mad men, are we really bad men? LARS: Ladies and gentlemen, we’d like to tell you a very sad story about capitalism in America in the 1960s The name’s Don Draper this is my story The pain and the dreams and the ads and the glory The captain of my ship, Sterling Cooper Draper Price The hours are insane but the benefits are nice It’s NYC in '63 Willy Loman – hey that’s me I live two lives as you can see Even lied to my family Drinking whiskey till I pass out on my black couch My secretary wakes me up and I’m out I slept with one and I’ll sleep with another Korean War vet with a prostitute mother There's Joan and Peter, Peggy, Roger Everyone is a problem solver Good men? Bad men? You decide We’re lost in America trying to get by CHORUS: (x2) Mad Men, are we really bad men? I don’t really know But I think it’s kind of sad when People say we're Mad Men, are we really bad men? I don’t really know But I think it’s kind of sad when People call us SCHÄFFER: I'm Roger Sterling, man about town Booze, sex, lies, two ex-wives down I never was faithful, I never was home Maybe that's now why I'm all alone (come on!) Look at me now, I'm not doing so well Things fall apart, and the partners can tell Despised by my daughter, denied to be a father To Red's lovechild, I only want her when I've lost her Lucky Strike's leaving, our best client Begged to stay, they were non-compliant I was quiet, I couldn't hide it The others called me out, and I straight up denied it Heart attack in my office My lifestyle hits me in the face The firm gets sold kind of like my soul So old, I'm gonna die in this place We sell desire, we sell amenities We drive consumption, we brand identities Good men, bad men, you decide We're lost in America, trying to get by (REPEAT CHORUS x2) LARS: Everything changes, life gets harder Peggy is promoted, Joan makes partner Peter's in LA, Lane Pryce is buried Megan sings "Zou Bisou," now we're married In a dark penthouse I drink back doubts Roger drops acid, Sally acts out I scare away Hershey, colleagues peeved A unanimous vote, and I'm placed on leave Static from a black and white TV screams Dick and Adam Whitman haunt my dreams I've played and I've lost, now all that I've got An empty pack of smokes, a broken bottle of scotch Never seen a want I couldn't sell as a need I'm falling from a skyscraper, picking up speed Good men, bad men, you decide We're lost in a America, trying to get by (REPEAT CHORUS x2) OUTRO x2: Good men, bad men, you decide We’re lost in America, trying to get by LARS: This week on Mad Men, Roger Sterling does a bunch of horrible things Everyone is surprised, but not that surprised As social issues play out in the background
3.
SCHAFFER: Hey, MC Lars! LARS: What's that, Schaffer? SCHAFFER: We're making the band! LARS: Yeah! SCHAFFER: Literally LARS: That's-that's a good pun SCHAFFER: In an attempt to assemble the ultimate quintet The rock world or any world has seen yet, we met And schemed a way that we could get the best of the best But in the end we had to settle for the bits that were left We got nauseous The stench of rotten flesh inside the coffins Of Keith Moon, Buddy Rich Mitch Mitchell, John Bohnam We got 'em up, chopped 'em up And sewed them together Creating what would surely become The greatest drummer ever But wait this Drummer needs a bassist, this is When we dug up Dee Dee, Cliff Burton, and Sid Vicious Rick James, Dave Blood Pieced them all into one Two abominations built, but we'd barely begun We needed more of this For a keyboardist, so we got the bodies Of John Lennon, Ray Charles, even Liberace Before completion of the resurrection, we reckon We need some leads for this rhythm section, we got CHORUS: A couple shovels A cart for haulin' We going a-robbin' The rock stars' coffins A little thread An electric shock and They're alive Our monsters are rockin' LARS: Moving on, Schaffer, this part's the hardest The parts that we harvest now form our guitarist Hendrix, Robert Johnson That guy from Hawthorne Heights A bit of Randy Rhoads from his final crazy flight Ty Longley from Great White? His hands are too crispy Let's open that FedEx sent from Corpus Christi It's Selena, our singer We've been dreaming of you Pass me that hacksaw, we've got work to do Yo Schaffer! SCHAFFER: Yes Lars? LARS: Hand me Eazy-E's tongue You don't want HIV Wash your hands when you're done Check out GG Allin's torso but try not to laugh At the tattoos that he copied from his first grade art class We're dusting skull fragments from Kurt Cobain's garage Picking up the teeth from Dimebag Darrell's shattered jaw It's not easy going out with a bullet to the face When your last is a gun-shot, then all it takes is CHORUS: A couple shovels A cart for haulin' We going a-robbin' The rock stars' coffins A little thread An electric shock and They're alive Our monsters are rockin' SCHAFFER: Must have forgotten That monsters rarely answer to masters Our band's first slash last gig turned into disaster fast Joey and Johnny Ramone's bones weren't compatible And Johnny Thunder's leg kicked Johnny Cash's ass and all LARS: Then we mixed 2Pac's neck with Biggie's hands He choked himself out, now he can barely stand Our band's still infamous and they're hunger starved Let's try again with some younger stars SCHAFFER: Maybe Amy Winehouse, the late British soul diva LARS: But she isn't dead yet! SCHAFFER: That gives me an idea... LARS: DJ AM survived some turbulence How about Pete Wentz? SCHAFFER: Who? LARS: Haven't you heard of them? SCHAFFER: The kid's use a lot of auto-tune, but not a lot of heart LARS: I guess Wal-Mart culture discourages art SCHAFFER: Dead-eyed lifeless stars are rising the charts LARS: Next time we restart with more talented parts CHORUS: A couple shovels A cart for haulin' We going a-robbin' The rock stars' coffins A little thread An electric shock and They're alive Our monsters are rockin' Punk rock's dead No pogo hoppin' Death to false metal Do the monster mosh and Hip-hop's gone Stop all the bottle poppin' But we're alive! Our monsters are rocking! SCHAFFER: My creation Is it real? You're my creation I do not know No hesitation No heart of gold Just flesh and blood I do not know
4.
MATT FURIE: We have rituals Sometimes I like to set up little toys around Like, when I'm drawing Like, uh, I'll just kinda, like Come over here and be like "Oh, today I'm gonna draw with, like The lizard, or this pterodactyl that has Kinda bent nose." I'm gonna set those guys up All up in the kaboodle here LARS: I'm a frog named Pepe - and I live With my three best friends - I forgive When they stink up the bathroom when I’m playing Doom Close the door Landwolf, Damn! P U! Cathode Ray to my giant eyes Chillin’ in the graveyard, who’s that guy With the pizza pie and the spider eggs And the kiwi bird with the tiny legs? Dat Boi, Harambe they crash on the floor 2017 internet lore How did it happen I don’t really know Up on the wall at the Mapplethorpe show I’m a 4chan star don’t ask me why When the memes on the scene straight multiply Pants all the way down to my feet when I pee ‘cause it feels good man - so please let me be CHORUS: Boy's Club! Boy's Club! Welcome to the Boys Club! Making hella noise club Welcome to the Boy's Club Why? Cause it feels good man Why? Cause it feels good man Why? Cause it feels good man Why? Cause it feels good man SCHAFFER: Uh, I'm a dog named Andy Well, maybe not a dog, but I'm drawn with a handy And a pair of lidded peeps and a piehole And a pair of long ears, short shorts, I snort, I roll With a bunch of bros, our apartment's stark Quick with a thumbs up and a smart remark The art is sharp, in color I'm mad yella Snark when I'm gonna barf "my bad, fellas!" As if! Sniffing rock bottom Pop another bottle, and I'm often hotdoggin' When I'm chilling like a champion, freezer stinks I'm so freaking lit that I become a lynx Now did you know a thing about a fancy cheese That they pass through a cat? Sunglasses, please On the last page? That was me, I guess Got a catch phrase? That would be a yes CHORUS: Boy's Club! Boy's Club! Welcome to the Boys Club! Making hella noise club Welcome to the Boy's Club Why? Cause it feels good man Why? Cause it feels good man Why? Cause it feels good man Why? Cause it feels good man TRIBE ONE: Yo, you ever seen a poop this lengthy? I'm the truth in the bathroom dudes envy! Crude with the 'tude, but my mood is friendly Getting your attention ever so gently Begging your pardon, my partner who rent An apartment, it started, this pencil and parchment The friendship is strength and ours won't be tarnished And basically target this fart in your face! Bam! My mind don't work backwards Living in the moment 'cause I know what's coming after RIP, I'll be lame when I'm dead Eyes got to be on the prize, they ain't in my head Landwolf, part man, part mammal You never see me give a damn in any art panel Anything is possible, everything is rock n' roll We unstoppable, pants optional CHORUS: Boy's Club! Boy's Club! Welcome to the Boys Club! Making hella noise club Welcome to the Boy's Club Why? Cause it feels good man Why? Cause it feels good man Why? Cause it feels good man Why? Cause it feels good man DR. AWKWARD: Inside, and my shades on I'm fresh as the day's long And my best friends are my roommates And they zag wrapped, and my Js on And they Batman to my Robin They three choice in my op ed And my name is Brett, I got a backwards hat I got Whitney up in my walkman Like "I'm every woman, it's all in me" Got a treat in the freezer you won't believe! Ask Sandy, 'cause Birddog's stupid Or Pepe, when he's done pooping I'm B-Money, my team funny I'm Ansel Adams when Landwolf's puking! CHORUS: Boy's Club! Boy's Club! Welcome to the Boys Club! Making hella noise club Welcome to the Boy's Club Why? Cause it feels good man Why? Cause it feels good man Why? Cause it feels good man Why? Cause it feels good man OUTRO: Going, Matt Furie on 'em Matt Furie on 'em Matt Furie on 'em Man, Matt Furie on 'em Indie comics all-star Comics all-star Indie comics all-star Comics all-star MATT FURIE: Just basically, writing comic books, um Is kind of for a loser, so, um I lost big time in that department.
5.
CHORUS: Marvin Acme, didn't kill 'em, didn't kill 'em Even though I wanted to, wanted to LARS: Playing patty cake with my wife backstage Want to slash is chubby throat with a knife - hey! The Gag King's got a gag in his mouth now Disappearing quick like the ink on a blouse, wow! Mickey Mouse might play that But Roger's running quick with the heater, I'm a spray that Dumdums come from Yosemite's gun Marvin Acme, I'm a actually have a little bit of fun um What's that you've got shipments coming through the back On track like a train, chopping wolfie with an axe It's a Silly Symphony hear you screaming in your sleep "Here lies Marvin Acme", rotting, bloated six feet deep (uh) Hmm... and even though I'm innocent I dream of retribution nightly in my dreams 'cause ever since I heard my girl was running round the town with the king I'm going for his crown, best respect this wedding ring! CHORUS: Marvin Acme, didn't kill 'em, didn't kill 'em Even though I wanted to, wanted to LARS: Who's true, boo? You knew all along? It was R.K. Maroon? Set it up? You were a pawn? They bribed a detective to snoop in the alley Till Bongo saw him creeping, gave the boot to Eddie Valiant And now I'm crying in the office I don't understand, this is not what Disney promised Plot twists, intrigue, murder, greed and sex Marvin on the line, making calls and cashing checks But look, if I had done it I would not have used a safe, word! I would have tied him to a tree up in Hayward I would have covered him in honey like in *Heavyweights* I would get a back of grizzly bears, like maybe eight? I could have starved them, in the woods with Marvin *Grizzly Man* the prequel with the canine teeth - they're carving! I heard my girl was running round the town with the king That's why I'm going for his crown, best respect this wedding ring! CHORUS: Marvin Acme, didn't kill 'em, didn't kill 'em Even though I wanted to, wanted to SCHAFFER: "Eponymous company man meets grim reaper! Rabbit wanted in the death of Toontown keeper!*" Who am I? I'm the one who knows most Marvin Acme! And you look like you've seen a ghost (boo!) As the CEO of Acme Inc., I sold the tools of the trade only coyotes would think (to use) Singing swords, portable holes, and others Put 'er there, pal! (BZZZ!) Hand buzzer! Seriously, this murder conspiracy biz is nasty The whole thing was a set up, kid, and you're the patsy! Blackmailed for photos to frame you with motive But Jessica did it to keep you in show biz! She only loves you, she always will, buddy You'll both inherit the town, check the will, dummy! Your girl was never running 'round with the king Please don't kill me, I never disrespected the ring CHORUS: Marvin Acme, didn't kill 'em, didn't kill 'em Even though I wanted to, wanted to OUTRO: Patty cake, patty cake, baker's man Catch me a body as fast as you can
6.
LARS: Wait what’s that noise? YTCracker, are those zombies? YTCRACKER: Zombies in the studio! LARS: This is our horrorcore song because it has zombies on it YTCRACKER: It sounds like a horrorcore song LARS: You know who we should get on this track to help us out? YTCRACKER: I’m thinking Zealous1 and Schaffer the Darklord LARS: Heck yeah! YTCRACKER: What should we call it Lars? LARS: I think we should call it Bruce Campbell SCHAFFER: Fresh from the cemetery, I’m a terrifying sight With little bits of bloody flesh stuck to my mic I will ruin you, reduce you to a puddle where you stand Once I tear into your torso with my cold, dead hands Blood, sweat and tears from your wounds start spewing Fill a water bottle, swallow all your bodily fluids You are nailed to a wall, full of holes like a dartboard Still think you’re hardcore? Bow to your Darklord! Splatter from the axe turns a blue shirt red Severed head in a vise inside of my work shed Deadheads get brains, Pinheads get chains I annihilate you, then I violate your remains You choked and you froze ’cause you got so scared Toss your body in the cellar, hope you rot down there Where upon your meat and screams, awful goblins feed Bleedat! But never mind the “at,” just bleed! CHORUS: Get on the floor and do the Bruce Campbell Get on the mic wax a chump like a candle Four MC’s we’re more than you can handle D-d-d-d-do the Bruce Campbell Get on the floor and do the Bruce Campbell Get on the mic wax a chump like a candle Four MC’s we’re more than you can handle Protect your neck and do the Bruce Campbell YTCRACKER: They need brains not the kind that you get in the back of a car At the drive in but the kind where they’re hiding in fear Laid up in a creaky house where the people shout Night of the living dead instead full moon rising Their surprising every chick with their shirt torn off Got an axe with the blade worn off They roam in the shadows split their melon I’m telling talking bout the zombies stalking Victims with a stick ‘em up Dead flesh rotten don’t pick them up On the side of the road or get yourself throwed Become one of them and walk all slowed On a quest for the grey matter nothing phatter Than a mind like mine when the zombies dine (CHORUS) ZEALOUS1: Back from the dead, got a bullet in my head And 37 more from the buckshot spread Suicidal thoughts like frost in your spine The dragon won’t sleep till your souls all mine Cut the flesh, blood spillin will entice me I promise when I carve my name I’ll do it very nicely Precisely, show your ladies I'm the best at this I got them screamin for the zealous as the sexorcist Don't mess with this, you just can’t hide Ain’t gonna stop till the knifes inside Twist to the left, lemme see your eyes Twist to the right, I wanna taste you die I stalk MC’s who are not believers Make a microphone stand outta both their femurs I love screamers, uh oh lets go Gimme some sugar baby and do the Bruce Campbell LARS: Jeffrey Dahmer, here’s my story You abhor me, you deplore me Much too gory, violent glory But this never would have happen if you hadn’t ignored me! You laughed at me and my fat retainer Now your son Stew is frozen in my refrigerator If you’d just said hello when I passed in the hall I wouldn’t be snacking on your dead boyfriend Paul It’s just another day at the Ambassador Hotel Milwaukee’s best travel bargain, please ignore the smell Shrunken heads severed limbs, I’m mad belligerent Murderous cannibal, far from innocent The Dahmer Dinner Party is the best it’s true And everywhere I go, I’ll take a part of you There’s a key downstairs, and your name’s on it I’ll get the stains out, you bring the comet (CHORUS)
7.
LARS: When Will Byers disappeared We realized he was gone I was sipping on that bottle In my trailer by the pond Out in Hawkins, Indiana Where we count the fireflies So when a kid goes missing It’s a tragic strange surprise That’s when they call Chief Hopper I’ve been dealing with a lot I’ve been tossing turning late at night With all these angry thoughts I know I’ll never be the same Since cancer took my child I miss her every day Her laughter and her smile We buried her in April Then my wife and I divorced I spent the summer drinking Sleeping, crying on the porch Joyce Byers, I know what it’s like To have to lose a kid Searching for him in the places Where he played and where he hid And I promise I’ll do everything I can bring him home Though we don’t where he’s gone Just know you’re not alone Because I’ve been to hell back In fact, I’m not scared of that much I’ll punch that Demogorgon Then I’ll kick him in the nuts CHORUS: I’m going to punch that Demogorgon in the nuts I’m going to slap him in the face ‘cause that’s what’s up You can’t take a kid like Will Plus Barb has been missing still LARS: Let’s face it The Upside Down is nasty Kind of like the Blair Witch Threw a party if you asked me And she invited all her friends Hellboy, Jaws and Alien The guestlist never ends Jason and Mike Meyers You might see them at the coat check Covered with black slime and grime You’ll really find that clothes get A bit ruined so bring a hazmat suit You'd better pack a gas mask 'Cause the air is toxic too Spoiler alert We found Will Byers rottin' Unlike Barb forgotten Blood vessels were clottin' Pulled the snake out his mouth While they played the Moby score Thought we got it all Turns out may be more So now it’s time find that demon And let him know I’m serious I’m feeling kind furious And yes a tab bit curious About who the monster is I know I’m gonna kick his butt Punch him in his starfish face and flick him in the nuts! (CHORUS) SCHAFFER: Wait! Hold up, chief, why would you do me like that? What'd I ever do to you, dude? Just say it, and I'll take it back I just want buddies, I am sick of ennui So why's everybody always picking on me? Like, when you call me Demogorgon, that's so mean, and you're the worst I am like you, I am normal, I've got feelings, they get hurt When I got popped by Lucas's wrist rocket, leveled by Eleven's powers Can't you see that when I smile I become a flower? Why you wanna make me cry, Hopper? I know you'll never take me alive, copper Is this the best it gets? Midwest depression fest? Why can't you guess the guy from Vision Quest is the right monster? As for Barb, I can't apologize or say enough Sometimes I'm like a lonely puppy, I can play too rough and stuff I'm back home in my right side up in the end I'll be back next season trying to find another friend (CHORUS) SCHAFFER: Seriously, I feel really bad about Barb. There's no excuse for what happened It is entirely on me, and I know this doesn't make things right, but to Barb's family and friends I want you to know that I am deeply, deeply sorry
8.
MEGA RAN: Uh. Uh huh. Who watch, who watch, who watch? Yo, they passed the Keane Act without my feedback Structure we lack, it’s all bout greenbacks Time to beat back the wolves, but keep back Cause times are changing – it’s off the meat rack I’m on lockdown, but Doc’s on the case Situation spotty like these dots on my face Mask is back on, I tend to mine 'Cause if we don’t step up, the end is nigh MC FRONTALOT: Technically I’m Nite Owl II, don’t mix me up with the first one Right on cue, observe a crime and alert some Figures of authority, cause I’ve gone quits on the "cape game" Midsection’s gone thick to my great shame! And my gadgets are all dusty But my conscience still nags pretty bad, you can trust me To get fussy, also to get freaky While we’re flying up on high in Archimedes! CHORUS: Who watches the Watchmen? (I don't know) Who watches the Watchmen? (Man, I don't know) Who watches the Watchmen? (I don't know) But police in this town move way too slow Who watches the Watchmen? (I don't know) Who watches the Watchmen? (Man, I don't know) Who watches the Watchmen? (I don't know) But something's going on and the people want to know MISS EAVES: Hollywood wanna test me and make me 2D Latex legacy my ex tastes of batteries Ya! Women are from Venus, I'm on Mars Learning the Comedian is my father So guess crime-fighting is in my blood My mom pushed me to this family business Jailbreak queen, Rorschach out of Sing Sing My existence makes Jon save everything LARS: Blood running down my face like the button in the street A problematic hero? Many would would agree Y'all ain’t ready for Eddie, have you heard what I did? I went to Vietnam and I murdered some kids (what!) See I’m part Thomas Hobbes sometimes a comedian I was tossed out the window, landed on the median Vigilante justice, hunting hippies with a smile We protect them from themselves and we do it with style (CHORUS) SCHAFFER: It is 1945, father is a watchmaker It is '59, molecular incinerator Jon is gone, in three months I am there again Doc's a god, they'll say the superman's American I am in the past, future, I am on Mars I am 99 syllables in eight bars The world's smartest man, wealthy by birthright Is no more of a threat to me than is its smartest termite QUELLE CHRIS: The smartest man cold as winter World turned me bitter I been overstimulating before Facebook and Twitter With a wall full of screens Account full of green and Built a hideout where it's white out For the plotting and the scheming Got a liger named Bubastis I silenced and retired my peers To cover the dark matter in my conscience With time it won't get better The dawn is turning redder Show the world to its demise so it can get itself together (CHORUS)
9.
SCHAFFER: Step in to the garden, we're gonna lock the gate We gotta keep out the sinners, gotta keep out the hate Look at the horizon, the time is coming near Look out at the world on fire, look at the people frozen in fear Revelation 21:7 The Alpha and Omega, the beginning and ending O holy blessing, let us prep for Armageddon I am the Father, shepherding my children into heaven YES! I started with a vision, and then came the rest I’m like a more charismatic David Koresh There are others here like you, lost but they got found Locked down upon a Montana compound Let the heretics march in the streets We’ll be sovereign, self-governed, armed to the teeth When the judgment comes down and takes the heathens We’ll be standing righteous at the Gates of Eden And then before the choir, harken the creed I said that every forest fire starts with a Seed Amen now take the blade and carve your sin in your skin And wash away, let your let atonement begin It’s like pride, wrath, envy, lust Sloth, greed, gluttony, trust That when they learn that it’s too late, they’ll come for us, breaking But God will not let them take me We won't listen to their crying They had their chance to see the light All of this I saw in ashes and frozen For all of this, I didn’t ask, I was chosen We won't be handing out no pardons 'Cause the world is gonna end tonight Something is coming, you can feel it, can’t you? That’s the reckoning the angels have been screaming at you The signs you haven’t seen have shown us that it’s started Your kind has brought depravity, the locusts in our garden Hardened skeptics will say I’m insane and call us a cult Their own homes in disarray, they’ll scoff and insult But we will exult for these are tests we must face I’ve lost brothers and sons, more than once I’ve lost Faith But God spoke to me, a nobody from nowhere with nothing He taketh a child, warned us the sinners are hunting That they will come for our weapons, that they will come with a rope That they will come for our freedom, but they will never take Hope And I heard as it were the noise of thunder A cleansing by fire, entire world torn asunder Under sirens and wolves and baptists called in for curfew We’ll be reborn into a new dawn of virtue It’s like chastity, charity, diligence, patience Temperance, humility, kindness, statements Will be reiterated as the ground begins shaking That God will not let them take me We won't listen to their screaming They had their chance to do what's right The falling crimson sky will crash in the ocean For all of this, I didn’t ask, I was chosen They'll be begging for forgiveness 'Cause the world is gonna end tonight Testify, my child LARS: How sweet the sound of my father’s voice Made the move up north to Montana by choice An English professor with tenure denied Because I taught Huck Finn against a stark racial divide When a student complained I was fired for a quote Taken out of context, faculty took a vote And I was out on the street with a worthless degree That’s when I read about this place of unity and peace Where I could finally see bliss existing past the veil I left a world of phonies, Holden Caulfield had set sail How could I be a teacher when the past had been rewritten? That’s when I saw the statue in the moonlight, I was smitten Because what if he’s right? Doesn’t that make you think? Everyone’s a little crazy, and the world’s on the brink Of destruction and flames, but Gatsby’s glad that I’m here Eden’s Gate open up, healing me and fears - no more SCHAFFER: War, famine, pestilence, death The martyrs will trumpet the cataclysmic events And when it’s just us left, you’ll know that I wasn’t faking ‘Cause God will not even take me We won't listen to your begging You had your chance to stand and fight Where once were seven seals, the last of them’s broken For all of this, I didn’t ask, I was frozen And now you'll end your days in darkness 'Cause the world is gonna end tonight

about

Rappers MC Lars and Schaffer the Darklord gather their collaborations from 2008-2019 for this remastered collection in support of their February 2020 tour. Includes the new single “The Friendalorians.”

credits

released February 28, 2020

Mastered by Rich Matthew
Album art by Juan y Diego

1. The Friendalorians
Produced by Rich Matthew
Released 2020

2. Mad Men (feat. Ash Wednesday)
Produced by MC Lars, Rich Matthew, Samarei and Joe Oliger
Mixed by Jason Moss
Originally released on MC Lars - “Donald Trump Has Really Bad Morals” (2016)

3. Monsters of Rock
Loops by Dave Famous
Mixed by Rich Matthew
Originally released on Schäffer the Darklord - “Manslaughterer” (2009)

4. Boy’s Club (feat. Tribe One & Dr. Awkward)
Produced by DF Bass
Mixed by Jason Moss
Originally released on MC Lars - “The Jeff Sessions” (2017)

5. Deconstructing Acme
Produced and mixed by Rich Matthew
Originally released on MC Lars - “Notes from Toontown” (2018)

6. Do the Bruce Campbell (feat. YTCracker & ZeaLouS1)
Produced by MC Lars & the Rondo Brothers
Additional guitar by Mike Russo
Mixed by Mike Sapone
Originally released on MC Lars & YTCracker - “The Digital Gangster LP” (2008)

7. Cops & Monsters
Produced and mixed by Rich Matthew
Originally released on MC Lars - “The Jeff Sessions” (2017)

8. Watchmen (feat. Mega Ran, MC Frontalot, Miss Eaves & Quelle Chris)
Produced by Rich Matthew
Mixed by Storyville (Matthew Weiss)
Originally released on MC Lars & Mega Ran - “The Dewey Decibel System” (2019)

9. World on Fire
Produced and mixed by Vince Vandal
Originally released on The Department of Darkness - “The Department of Darkness” (2018)

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Schaffer the Darklord

Schaffer the Darklord (or STD) is a New York City-based rapper and comedian with material best-suited for brainy and/or drug- addled audiences. With manic energy, verbose vocabulary and cartoonishly commanding stage presence, STD skewers such topics as hedonistic substance abuse, sexual compulsion, urban anxiety and obsessive cat-enthusiasts. ... more

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