1. |
The Bringer
04:45
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With the sun shining on me on a beautiful day
And all the songbirds singing, y’all, I’m doing the same
Yay, no stress, just collected a paycheck
I slip a fresh TDK into the tape deck
And make a breakneck left into traffic
Breeze blowing through my hair, I’m feeling fantastic
I still got some miles, still trucking all the while
Like it’s ’94, I still fuck with Doggystyle
So check it, I shift that shit into second
I’m dropping needles the fastest like I’m setting a record, you get it?
And get a sea of green lights, gliding clear through
Vanilla-scented AF swinging from the rear view
With my man Vince Vandal riding shotgun
A crisp uniform? Damn right, I got one
Brown hat, shirt, shorts, gold in the zipper
It’s me, Schaffer TD, I’m here to deliver, fuckers
I bring the party, I’m bringing the fear
I bring you to the edge, I bring you to tears
I bring it to the front, while you bring up the rear
You know why? I’m the bringer, and I’m bringing it here
I bring the sunshine, I’m bringing the rain
I bring my A-game, I’m bringing the pain
You bring it on yourself when you bring up my name
Who am I? I’m the bringer, and I’m bringing it hey
Ayo, Vince, bring that beat back
I cup the mic when rappers ask me for feedback
A couple times I’ve had them after delete tracks
You want that? Fuck that, you motherfuckers need that
I see you waiting for me any way the wind blows
With your dirty faces pressed against your windows
Going oh so excited and tingly
Like it’s Christmas, asking “Mama, what did Satan bring me?”
I get crazy, my judgment is hazy
Drive my truck into your garden, fucking park in your daisies
And peel out, pissing out the driver’s side, got mine
Screaming “I don’t give a fuck!” squealing through a stop sign
Four blown speakers all rocking Slayer
And Vince is popping off shots into the air
Your tracking says your packages
Are on time showing small signs of damages, dipshits
I bring you bad luck, I’m bringing you joy
I bring the ruckus, fuck, I’m bringing the noise
I bring my milkshake, it brings all the boys
You know why? I’m the bringer, and I bring it, enjoy
I bring you higher, I’m bringing the heat
I bring the fire till you’re soaking in your seat
I’ll bring the bars, Vince is bringing the beats
Who am I? I’m the bringer, and I’m bringing it, sweet
Up to code (I bring it) the bacon home (I bring it)
To a head (I bring it) back from the dead (I bring it)
Into question (I bring it) to your attention (I bring it)
I got one drop left in this session, and I’ma fucking bring it
I’m in Queens, heading west on the BQE
I take Exit 29 onto Tillary Street
Right on to Flatbush Ave, over the Manhattan Bridge
Slight left on Canal, toward the West Side Highway
Right on to Spring Street
Rolling up to 353
You slowly open up, afraid, although in some way
You fucking knew that this was coming for you one day
The van is on its side and on fire on your grass lawn
And Vince is puking up blood with no pants on
And yeah, we’re drunk as hell, jackass, the time
Has come for you to sign upon the trackpad and bye bye, dickhead
I bring the party, I’m bringing the fear
I bring you to the edge, I bring you to tears
I bring it to the front, while you bring up the rear
You know why? I’m the bringer, and I’m bringing it here
I bring the sunshine, I’m bringing the rain
I bring my A-game, I’m bringing the pain
You bring it on yourself when you bring up my name
Who am I? I’m the bringer, and I’m bringing it hey
I bring you bad luck, I’m bringing you joy
I bring the ruckus, fuck, I’m bringing the noise
I bring my milkshake, it brings all the boys
You know why? I’m the bringer, and I bring it, enjoy
I bring you higher, I’m bringing the heat
I bring the fire till you’re soaking in your seat
I’ll bring the bars, Vince is bringing the beats
Who am I? I’m the bringer, and I’m bringing it, sweet
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2. |
I Hate People
03:48
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Yo, you got a problem? I got some, lots of ‘em
Everywhere I look, I’m crawling with ‘em, rotten ones
Bottom rung dwellers want a bare knuckle catfight
They got skeletons and belt buckles, that’s right
Here they come, bum bum hits the kick drum
Wicked like the pictures, get your stun gun, dum dum
I’m done, son, better boost up the pace
They got me cruising through space, they got me losing my faith
They got me right where they want me, and they’re coming in hot
Gotta slip a little distance in, get under their shots
I brought a bat to a cannon battle, run to the spot
And hold up inside and pack up my pride and cry “mother of god!”
Rocking a hate-based rage making it up to the top
Feel like my eyeballs’ll burst, my eardrums gonna pop
I got my talons out, calling like a bald eagle
I got seven billion problems, and they’re all people
I hate people, I hate people, they’re evil
At their best, they’re bad, at their worst, they’re lethal
Lost all hope, past the end of my rope
I’m just a misanthrope, and I can’t cope, people
I hate people, see, all people equally
Just a plague upon a planet we inhabit needlessly
It’s too late for me to wait for what the future brings
I’ve seen the human beings ruin things
Watch ‘em cheat and steal and turn a blind eye
Watch the self-serving, back-stabbing, wolf criers lie
Watch ‘em feed, turn their wants to needs, greed getting big
Watch ‘em wallow in their sickness, filthy two-legged pigs
Watch ‘em pass you on the right, park and take up two spaces
Interrupt you when you when you’re speaking, making smug, vacant faces
Cut you at the bar, plunking down not a bone
And come to a dead stop on the stairs and then fuck around on their phones
Back peddle hate speech like they were jesting only
Block a sidewalk, walking four abreast slowly
Push their way aboard and block the doors on the train
Out with their hella giant umbrellas after the passing of rain
You mouth-breathing, open-mouth-eating cretins spit and spray
You manspreading, mansplaining pricks, put your dicks away
You name-dropping, shade-tossing, never-been stars
Oh god, delete this species, please start over on Mars
I hate people, I hate people, they’re evil
At their best, they’re bad, at their worst, they’re lethal
Lost all hope, past the end of my rope
I’m just a misanthrope, and I can’t cope, people
I hate people, see, all people equally
Just a plague upon a planet we inhabit needlessly
It’s too late for me to wait for what the future brings
I’ve seen the human beings ruin things
All of the sexist and the racist and deluded
White dudes who think that criticism equals persecution
Fuck the All Lives Matter crowd, feed ‘em to the fishes
With the sickening Christians calling their bigotry freedom of religion
The pious with their bias-backing stats they cite as facts
And the bros in feminist clothes who don’t get claps, then attack
The sexual predators, circling sharks who depend
Upon the support of the chickenshit rape apologists they call friends
Like that pretentious artist fuck who fights that man is better
And that no-talent hack who still bites the hands that fed her
The guy who wanted me working for free and talked shit when I didn’t
And all of the kids who say that I suck who’ve been in my scene for like minutes
Those who have the power to resist, but wouldn’t dare
And the child in the White House and those who put him there
I’m over ‘em, fed up, I’m had enough of their stay
And if you’re with me, put a hand up, now go the fuck away
I hate people, I hate people, they’re evil
At their best, they’re bad, at their worst, they’re lethal
Lost all hope, past the end of my rope
I’m just a misanthrope, and I can’t cope, people
I hate people, see, all people equally
Just a plague upon a planet we inhabit needlessly
It’s too late for me to wait for what the future brings
I’ve seen the human beings ruin things
Now fuck off
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3. |
Heel Team (feat. Ohm-I)
04:15
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Feel that hard pop, pyrotechnics, hearts stop
My name appears upon the Titantron in sharp font
I hit the ramp, flex, vamp, rock my fight walk
When my hand goes up, your mouths shut, mic drop
I rock striking like a cobra in a boa
Not the biggest guy, but I could cut a promo in a coma
You want your program autographed? Got it
I draw a middle finger on it, ball it up and toss it
I see your stupid signs, I hear your stupid chants
I never pay no mind to babyfaces’ sycophants
I eat up that heat, feed me your boos and those hisses
Go on, keep at it, y’all, and I’ll just keep on blowing you kisses
The rafters shaking above me
You say you love to hate me ‘cause you hate that you love me
You see me as an easy over though you’re crashing to the bottom
‘Cause dog, I’m only half of your problem
From backstage – to the cage – go to hell – in a cell
Hit the ring – do our thing – at the sound – of the bell
Got no entourage – got no advocate – and we got no patience
He’s the muscles – I’m the mouth of this operation
I write the checks – he’s the one who will cash ‘em
While I’m always in his corner – cold causing distractions
It’s two against you – dropping signatures in rhythm
We walked in wearing belts – and we’re leaving here with ‘em
Y’all better heed me when you see me coming down the ramp
Give you heebies jeebies, leaving your singlet brown and damp
You’ll piss ya pants when you get these hands, better back down
I bring that Raw power when I’m layin’ the smackdown
Both my fists ‘bout to have a date withcha face
Make you regret you came to this disgrace of a place
What’s this city called? Worst city of the year
Let’s be real, we’d rather be in any city but here
I don’t say things for the cheap pop
I’m the type to hit you with a cheap shot. Hit you with that low blow
But the ref won’t know, cause my partna distracting the referee
Effortlessly with the mouth that he got
Don’t need to talk in promos, I’m a beast display
I’ll break ya legs, arms and neck and I’ll beat ya face
Special maneuver that’ll prove that we the best in town
Step inside this ring, and we gon take ya down
From backstage – to the cage – go to hell – in a cell
Hit the ring – do our thing – at the sound – of the bell
Got no entourage – got no advocate – and we got no patience
I’m the muscles – He’s the mouth of this operation
He writes the checks – I’m the one who will cash ‘em
While he’s always in my corner – cold causing distractions
It’s two against you – dropping signatures in rhythm
We walked in wearing belts – and we’re leaving here with ‘em
I start the match much to your surprise
Duck through the ropes a couple times, then I tag in the big guy
It’s I, the man who always manages to damage
I won’t leave you standing, you will feel my power when I’m slammin’
And even if you take me down, I'mma flair with rage
You couldn't get a three count even if there were errors made
Your partner gets a two-count cover which I barely save
And pull you off the apron, kick you into the barricade
If you run back in the ring, better expect I hit you
Ya partner gets a clothesline, you gon get a big boot
When I bring a chair into the fight, you get nervous
Crack open a jabroni like “YOU DESERVE IT!”
But he’s the legal man, his lethal hands administer
Your demolition, laughing as he sets up his finisher
My finisher? I'mma put my partner on my shoulders
Powerslam him on you, pin you for the three count and it's over
From backstage – to the cage – go to hell – in a cell
Hit the ring – do our thing – at the sound – of the bell
Got no entourage – got no advocate – and we got no patience
I’m the muscles – I’m the mouth of this operation
I write the checks – I’m the one who will cash ‘em
While I’m always in his corner – cold causing distractions
It’s two against you – dropping signatures in rhythm
We walked in wearing belts – and we’re leaving here with ‘em
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4. |
Bully (feat. Coolzey)
04:04
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I burned your house down when you weren’t around to scare, you
Moved in with your parents so I burnt down theirs too
To make it better for your backbiting
I left a letter said I did it in your handwriting
Before I made off with your cash and your jewels
Covered your car in nazi stickers, drove it into a school
And left it, hacked your cloud, found stuff I wasn’t meant to see
Sent it to your boss, cold stole your identity
I sent bombs threats and caused and international crisis
I drained your savings and donated them to ISIS
Selected all your drafts, clicked on the backspace
I made and circulated pics of you in blackface
The rumors spread through, just like I meant to
Buddied up your friends too, turned them all against you
But the worst crime was after the fact
When you talked about it, why would you do that?
You’re a bully, a bully bully
Yeah, just like the ones that I had as a kid
You fucking bully, a bully bully
Because you told folks about the things I actually did
You’re a bully, a bully bully
Speaking out’s an evil even demons never would do
You’re the bully, you’re just a dead-ass bully
And now my reputation’s ruined, how could you?
I’m here to tell it like it is now
So haters don’t give me no lip now
Your girlfriend hopping on my dick now
We invisible, you can’t see my clique now
I’m on the wing, you John Lithgow
I found your journal and I ripped out
A couple pages cause you bitched out
I never did that shit, you snitch, wow
Just because you thought I was a gentleman
You stupid though, I’m all about the Benjamin
Franklin, it’s time I gave you the spanking
That you deserve, I’m swerving and you sank in
Into a pit that I dug out in my basement
You dead now, job looking for replacement
Ay, I’m a good guy, why did you test me?
I sink you in the lake like Nessie
Body decomposing, now you messy
Stop blowing horns, you not Gillespie
Oh, boo, why did you have to say #metoo
When it was you who chose to wear clothes that I could see through?
Honestly, I didn’t mean to
But you were gonna tell all what we’d been through
Ooh, you could’ve been my queen too, boo
But now we through, and it’s your loss, bye bye
So, there’s three truths in every moment
Yours, mine and the facts, and everybody knows it
Yo, the one that favors me is the one that I’ve chosen
And I own it, I guess my truth hurts, don’t it?
No one notices through all my spin, your story remains
I campaign for their hearts, pour poison in brains
And maybe all my daily posts of it are overkill
I’m Scut Farkas with a whole squad of Grover Dills
Serving as the chorus in my theater of victimhood
I wish you would’ve let it go, but watch the show, your ticket’s good
And you’ve withstood the scrutiny and lies, and you have stayed true
But once I’m done, nobody will believe you
I’ll just claim that this is literally killing me
And get away with it without accountability
And any breakthroughs that receipts may prove
I’ll double down crying “bully” like I’m crying “fake news”
You’re a bully, a bully bully
Yeah, just like the ones that I had as a kid
You fucking bully, a bully bully
Because you told folks about the things I actually did
You’re a bully, a bully bully
Speaking out’s an evil even demons never would do
You’re the bully, you’re just a dead-ass bully
And now my reputation’s ruined, how could you?
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5. |
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O Death, won’t you spare me over for another year?
Long time coming, long time running
Fill my lungs with dust, and zombies shuffle away from him
I guess have to face it, Death moves at his own pace, and
He’s in my every sniffle and the aftertaste with chasers
I carry two erasers for those that seek some placement
A merchant on the street with networks of some displaced vagrants
They greet me with such hatred, their love borders on tasteless
A fiend pays you to kill them with the smiles upon their faces
New age Rr. Robert, unlicensed practitioner
More off-tempo percussion than deep space listener
I have a lot to answer for, locked behind a heavy door
But honestly these days I barely sleep upon this cold floor
I know what is in store for one who samples his own wares
I see the demon faces in the subways drawn in pairs
I’m seldom unawares but sliding towards the ledge
Won’t take many more steps to wind up slipping from the edge
O Death
Knock knock! I let myself in, it was not locked
You're looking well, well, you're not, are you not shocked
That even with your top docs and eleventh hour God talk
That I would not arrive in time? C'mon, let's take a long walk
We got a lot to talk about, get up, chop chop
Said time's a-wasting, yeah the clock's a-racing, tick tock
We got a boat to catch at the River Styx dock
A funeral march mixed in with a little hip hop
By now your life is flashing past you faster, faster
Flipbook full of pictures of mistakes and questions which you never answered
You see the darkness which envelops you grow near and deeper
Be the wind, sun and the rain, baby, don't fear the reaper
Reflect upon regrets, I bet there's some you might've missed
I'm the ghost of Christmas future with your final gift
So I will take your hand and listen to you screaming through it
Or I can just extend a finger, and let you lean into it
O Death
But I ain't ready yet - It doesn't matter
But I got time left - Look, the clock is shattered
There's still fuel in the tank - Not on your life, son
Not once I'm wielding my scythe like it’s a siphon
But can't I flee from thee? – Well, many have made attempts
Why now? Why me? – C’mon, you know no one's exempt
Will it hurt? O merciful destroyer
Will I suffer? - Brother, please, let's avoid the spoilers
Time is finite, a million gears have rusted
The hands are closing in and hold the straw for pills you're crushing
It isn’t fair, changed direction just to push through
Ran for many years only to wind-up back here with you
What does that mean? You cast seeds upon the stones
And dare to grimace now that they took root and what has grown, so
What about my plans? Oh, your legacy is ash
It’s time to see the truth, it’s always me behind the mask
O Death
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6. |
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Stand up – Everybody - Hands up - Everybody
Freak out – Everybody - Scream, shout - Everybody
Make noise – Everybody - Girls, boys - Everybody
In the stands – Everybody - Heya, Ran - Heya, buddy
Hands up, it’s a stick-up, now everybody get up
And get the place lit up bout as quick as a hiccup
The mic sounds nice, I’m loud and clear
Ready to get down in here, what up, Schaffer?
Hit you like it's Godzilla giving you high-fives
I've rocked a lot of audiences, none of them this live
Cranking up the volume knob and breaking it off
You're like a big bunch of balloons, you're ready to pop
Never to stop the perpetual motion
Get lost in the rhythm till you feel like you’re floating
With no coasting, lift your hands until you can’t chill
Nobody’s standing still
From the front of the stage to the back of the room
Y'all a powder keg, short fuse, set to go boom
Ease off the accelerator, pump that brake pedal down
Easy does it, for Pete's sake and settle down
In the back to the front of the stage
We're leaving all bars rattled like beasts in a cage
Put your fists down now, don't even make a little sound
Slow your roll, take a break and settle down
Everybody take a deep breath
Settle down, you're looking like you're needing your rest
Settle down, party people and tonight's other acts
Settle down, maniacs, take a knee and relax
Check in, let’s get a temperature taken
Because the needle of the ohmygod-o-meter’s indicating
That the levels of hype in here are critical, excitement is visible
Visceral and growing unpredictable
Ok, I think you took the first verse a little too literal
You have now raised a ruckus that’s become quite formidable
Which under most scenarios is totally permissible
But I’ma need you guys to maybe bring it down a little though
Now we know how you go and get so excited
But also there’s chill here, we need y’all to find it
Your heart rates are heightened, your pupils are wide
Time to build a pillow fort and crawl up inside
May I suggest breathing or getting some rest?
Your energy is at eleven, are you under duress?
Come down a couple notches and cool your jets
And maybe act like you got some sense, relax
From the front of the stage to the back of the room
Y'all a powder keg, short fuse, set to go boom
Ease off the accelerator, pump that brake pedal down
Easy does it, for Pete's sake and settle down
In the back to the front of the stage
We're leaving all bars rattled like beasts in a cage
Put your fists down now, don't even make a little sound
Slow your roll, take a break and settle down
Everybody take a deep breath
Settle down, you're looking like you're needing your rest
Settle down, party people and tonight's other acts
Settle down, maniacs, take a knee and relax
Stand down – Everybody - Hands down – Everybody
No lights – Everybody - Night night – Everybody
Quiet – Everybody - Silence – Everybody
Sound, safe – Everybody - Ready, Schaff? - Ready, buddy!
Came in like a swarm of bees, should’ve been a butterfly
Brought along a banging beat, should’ve brought a lullaby
Take a couple Klonopin or chloroform aroma
Let’s play a game called “Pretend We’re in a Coma”
Yo, for real, try sleepy time tea to calm you
Every time we fall through we love to involve you
We always appreciate you giving us love
But if you don’t relax we might get kicked out the club
Out of control with no choice, but soon the end will come
Listen to the sound of my voice and watch the pendulum
Your eyes are growing heavy, slip slow and deep
Now just go to sleep, just go to sleep
From the front of the stage to the back of the room
Y'all a powder keg, short fuse, set to go boom
Ease off the accelerator, pump that brake pedal down
Easy does it, for Pete's sake and settle down
In the back to the front of the stage
We're leaving all bars rattled like beasts in a cage
Put your fists down now, don't even make a little sound
Slow your roll, take a break and settle down
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7. |
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Your Honor, I represent a Mr. Thomas in this matter
His tragedy could not be sadder
He’s been the victim in every altercation
From humiliating injury to injurious humiliation
Assaults with kitchen implements and fire
False imprisonments, bisection by piano wire
My client’s tired, hopes a quick conclusion,
Seeks a protection order and restitution
Your Honor, if it pleases the court
My client, Mr. Gerald, will defend and support
His own innocence, providing ample proof that imparts
The fact the plaintiff’s claims against him are an absolute farce
Mr. Thomas is the one who’s been abusive and violent
For seventy years, and now he tries to buy my client’s silence
With a costly, embarrassing trial and quote “clear his name”
But the truth will cloud his tall tales, and justice will rain, thank you
Your Honor, my client is the victim in this
Oh please, Your Honor, my client moves to dismiss
Counselor, you think my client’s a fool?
Go chase an ambulance! – Objection! - OVERRULED!
Your Honor, my client’s suffered enough
Your Honor, my client’s claims cannot be rebuffed
Counselor, curious, where’d you go to school?
Cooley Law? – Objection! – OVERRULED!
Your Honor, we bring our client under oath
He’s never been verbose, that’s how trauma goes
But please, if you are able, Mr. Thomas, indicate
If your seemingly mousy tormentor is with us today (point him out)
Mr. Thomas, isn’t it true
That in 1950, ‘vember 25th with a pool cue
You beat my sleeping client, an act of unprovoked aggression?
It was all caught on film, no further questions
Your Honor, we call Mr. Gerald to the stand
Tell us about the axes and cigars and the pans
That Thomas used when switched from kitten to vicious
I thank you for your bravery – your witness
Mr. Gerald, have you no conscience at all?
You triumphed whenever you met, or can’t you recall
You left him beset by the plasters, in tractions
The proof is in every lights camera action
Your Honor, the plaintiff’s whole case is out of order
Your Honor, the defendant has a mental disorder
Counselor, why must you be so cruel?
Has no one loved you? – Objection! – OVERRULED!
Your Honor, his client’s history is checkered
Your Honor, we ask that that be stricken from the record
Counselor fix-it man, your client’s a tool
Pussy! Rat! – Objection! - OVERRULED!
Your Honor, we’ve presented the whole of our petition
And here before the court without contrition
This respondent sits
Projected evidence of cruelty gave him giggle fits
While my client’s despondentness
Spoke to us all along, it fits
The pattern of antagonist and innocent
We rest, and trust justice is imminent
Your Honor, as our evidence has proven
My client’s suffered at the hands of an abusive
Animal and as for the handful of events
Of violence by my client: all self-defense
And any other claims otherwise are simply lies
I mean, I literally represent the little guy
Given this, plus the plaintiff’s behavior
We are certain that today the court will rule in our favor (thank you)
Your Honor, my client is the victim in this
Oh please, your Honor, my client moves to dismiss
Counselor, you think my client’s a fool?
Go chase an ambulance! – Objection! - OVERRULED!
Your Honor, my client’s suffered enough
Your Honor, my client’s claims cannot be rebuffed
Counselor, curious, where’d you go to school?
DeVry Law? – Objection! – OVERRULED!
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8. |
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Joe was the top guy on a Man Show
A comic on the radio, a boatload of fan bros
Listened for opinions they could pick up
When he said that PC culture’s on a witch hunt
Bitch, what? Aww #Metoo’s got you blue?
Lay down as the woman I'm gonna cater to you
Your wood is important. Relax: decompress
As I tie you up as a place this giant board on your chest
This weight on my shoulders? Can you handle it?
Let it all fall down cause I wanna keep you grounded.
All my heavy shit press down on your vital organs
This weight cracks your bones til you scream “No more man”
Good boy! I see your tongue wag
And your eyes bug out. You’re breathless
Goodnight baby. And all my witches
Hunting fuckboys down. We’re flipping the script yeah
Double, double, toil and trouble
As the fire rises, blood will boil and bubble
The blue moon eclipse is high, and under its light
The witches are coming, they’re going hunting tonight
Double, double, boil and bubble
You have summoned up a coven of them, boy, you’re in trouble
You can cry, you can try to hide or run underground
But the witches are coming out, they’re hunting you down
Liam was a movie star on the A-list
Beloved by all, considered one of the greatest
But on a press tour stop he pulled a sick stunt
When he said the #metoo movement is a witch hunt
Bitch, what? How dare you claim, these girls pain is a fallacy
actually having the audacity to name this Blasphemy
tragedy and savagery happened in women’s history
you a bitch to me, we’re switching shit up in this century
who am I, oh you insist?
Bring ya dumbass here, I’ll show you how I lived
tie you to this rock, piercing thru ya skin and limbs
say bye to ya kids, hurl you off the sixth st bridge
I am tired of this shit, double boil and bubble
y’all have summoned a bunch of us, mother fuckas in trouble
I swear y’all talk mad with no consequence
let’s see how bad y’all get, facing the wrath of a witch
Double, double, toil and trouble
As the fire rises, blood will boil and bubble
The blue moon eclipse is high, and under its light
The witches are coming, they’re going hunting tonight
Double, double, boil and bubble
You have summoned up a coven of them, boy, you’re in trouble
You can cry, you can try to hide or run underground
But the witches are coming out, they’re hunting you down
Donnie was the CEO of America
Beleaguered by scandals, he’d just deny and disparage them
With each day’s bombshell, he’d whip up
A tweet to save face with his base and blame a witch hunt
Bitch, what? American citizens gather around your disgrace of a POTUS
Camera lenses from every state put his face into focus
And witness a witch’s way to serve him his fate
I bet the ratings will be great as he's burned at the stake
We got the flames to roast him hotter than the correspondent’s dinner
If you thought his skin was thin? It's about to get thinner
So gather up the kindling, ring around the rosie, he’s in high demand
Tie a whole lot of rope around his tiny hands
The imminent incineration will be instrumental in proving his innocence
But if he’s a sinner the tinder will immolate him like they do in Leviticus
Listen to the sizzle we’re crisping the skin of the pig as we set him ablaze
And take with him ALL religious extremists and bigots, making America great
Double, double, toil and trouble
As the fire rises, blood will boil and bubble
The blue moon eclipse is high, and under its light
The witches are coming, they’re going hunting tonight
Double, double, boil and bubble
You have summoned up a coven of them, boy, you’re in trouble
You can cry, you can try to hide or run underground
But the witches are coming out, they’re hunting you down
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9. |
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Step in to the garden, we're gonna lock the gate
We gotta keep out the sinners, gotta keep out the hate
Look at the horizon, the time is coming near
Look out at the world on fire, look at the people frozen in fear
Revelation 21:7
The Alpha and Omega, the beginning and ending
O holy blessing, let us prep for Armageddon
I am the Father, shepherding my children into heaven
YES! I started with a vision, and then came the rest
I’m like a more charismatic David Koresh
There are others here like you, lost but they got found
Locked down upon a Montana compound
Let the heretics march in the streets
We’ll be sovereign, self-governed, armed to the teeth
When the judgment comes down and takes the heathens
We’ll be standing righteous at the Gates of Eden
And then before the choir, harken the creed
I said that every forest fire starts with a Seed
Amen now take the blade and carve your sin in your skin
And wash away, let your let atonement begin
It’s like pride, wrath, envy, lust
Sloth, greed, gluttony, trust
That when they learn that it’s too late, they’ll come for us, breaking
But God will not let them take me
We won't listen to their crying
They had their chance to see the light
All of this I saw in ashes and frozen
For all of this, I didn’t ask, I was chosen
We won't be handing out no pardons
'Cause the world is gonna end tonight
Something is coming, you can feel it, can’t you?
That’s the reckoning the angels have been screaming at you
The signs you haven’t seen have shown us that it’s started
Your kind has brought depravity, the locusts in our garden
Hardened skeptics will say I’m insane and call us a cult
Their own homes in disarray, they’ll scoff and insult
But we will exult for these are tests we must face
I’ve lost brothers and sons, more than once I’ve lost Faith
But God spoke to me, a nobody from nowhere with nothing
He taketh a child, warned us the sinners are hunting
That they will come for our weapons, that they will come with a rope
That they will come for our freedom, but they will never take Hope
And I heard as it were the noise of thunder
A cleansing by fire, entire world torn asunder
Under sirens and wolves and baptists called in for curfew
We’ll be reborn into a new dawn of virtue
It’s like chastity, charity, diligence, patience
Temperance, humility, kindness, statements
Will be reiterated as the ground begins shaking
That God will not let them take me
We won't listen to their screaming
They had their chance to do what's right
The falling crimson sky will crash in the ocean
For all of this, I didn’t ask, I was chosen
They'll be begging for forgiveness
'Cause the world is gonna end tonight
Testify, my child
How sweet the sound of my father’s voice
Made the move up north to Montana by choice
An English professor with tenure denied
Because I taught Huck Finn against a stark racial divide
When a student complained I was fired for a quote
Taken out of context, faculty took a vote
And I was out on the street with a worthless degree
That’s when I read about this place of unity and peace
Where I could finally see bliss existing past the veil
I left a world of phonies, Holden Caulfield had set sail
How could I be a teacher when the past had been rewritten?
That’s when I saw the statue in the moonlight, I was smitten
Because what if he’s right? Doesn’t that make you think?
Everyone’s a little crazy, and the world’s on the brink
Of destruction and flames, but Gatsby’s glad that I’m here
Eden’s Gate open up, healing me and fears - no more
War, famine, pestilence, death
The martyrs will trumpet the cataclysmic events
And when it’s just us left, you’ll know that I wasn’t faking
‘Cause God will not even take me
We won't listen to your begging
You had your chance to stand and fight
Where once were seven seals, the last of them’s broken
For all of this, I didn’t ask, I was frozen
And now you'll end your days in darkness
'Cause the world is gonna end tonight
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10. |
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Yo, you got a problem? I got some, lots of ‘em
Everywhere I look, I’m crawling with ‘em, rotten ones
Bottom rung dwellers want a bare knuckle catfight
They got skeletons and belt buckles, that’s right
Here they come, bum bum hits the kick drum
Wicked like the pictures, get your stun gun, dum dum
I’m done, son, better boost up the pace
They got me cruising through space, they got me losing my faith
They got me right where they want me, and they’re coming in hot
Gotta slip a little distance in, get under their shots
I brought a bat to a cannon battle, run to the spot
And hold up inside and pack up my pride and cry “mother of god!”
Rocking a hate-based rage making it up to the top
Feel like my eyeballs’ll burst, my eardrums gonna pop
I got my talons out, calling like a bald eagle
I got seven billion problems, and they’re all people
I hate people, I hate people, they’re evil
At their best, they’re bad, at their worst, they’re lethal
Lost all hope, past the end of my rope
I’m just a misanthrope, and I can’t cope, people
I hate people, see, all people equally
Just a plague upon a planet we inhabit needlessly
It’s too late for me to wait for what the future brings
I’ve seen the human beings ruin things
Where do I start with the topic at hand?
Homo sapiens congregate and I can’t stand
How they breathe, how they travel, make my sanity unravel
Yeah, it’s baffling, the fuckery I grapple with
All the patience that I wasn’t more possessing
And who is this ho that I should be impressing?
Let me be clear, they a cluster of fucks
Invites to bullshit I constantly duck, bitch
I hate your selfie and the bougie kale you eat
Y’all a boring sack of shit the devil excretes
Folks are all cunts and everybody wants to front
Like they’re living it up, but it’s a corny ass stunt
People I hate most are the ones who be entitled
To other folks’ blessings like their presence is delightful
Why you gotta kick it with the people I don’t like?
Motherfuckers like to make me wanna do a hunger strike
I hate people, I hate people, they’re evil
At their best, they’re bad, at their worst, they’re lethal
Lost all hope, past the end of my rope
I’m just a misanthrope, and I can’t cope, people
I hate people, see, all people equally
Just a plague upon a planet we inhabit needlessly
It’s too late for me to wait for what the future brings
I’ve seen the human beings ruin things
All of the sexist and the racist and deluded
White dudes who think that criticism equals persecution
Fuck the All Lives Matter crowd, feed ‘em to the fishes
With the sickening Christians calling their bigotry freedom of religion
The pious with their bias-backing stats they cite as facts
And the bros in feminist clothes who don’t get claps, then attack
The sexual predators, circling sharks who depend
Upon the support of the chickenshit rape apologists they call friends
Like that pretentious artist fuck who fights that man is better
And that no-talent hack who still bites the hands that fed her
The guy who wanted me working for free and talked shit when I didn’t
And all of the kids who say that I suck who’ve been in my scene for like minutes
Those who have the power to resist, but wouldn’t dare
And the child in the White House and those who put him there
I’m over ‘em, fed up, I’m had enough of their stay
And if you’re with me, put a hand up, now go the fuck away
I hate people, I hate people, they’re evil
At their best, they’re bad, at their worst, they’re lethal
Lost all hope, past the end of my rope
I’m just a misanthrope, and I can’t cope, people
I hate people, see, all people equally
Just a plague upon a planet we inhabit needlessly
It’s too late for me to wait for what the future brings
I’ve seen the human beings ruin things
Now fuck off
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Schaffer the Darklord
Schaffer the Darklord (or STD) is a New York City-based rapper and comedian with material best-suited for brainy and/or drug- addled audiences. With manic energy, verbose vocabulary and cartoonishly commanding stage presence, STD skewers such topics as hedonistic substance abuse, sexual compulsion, urban anxiety and obsessive cat-enthusiasts. ... more
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